Friday, August 12, 2005

Pondering Hobbies, the Unofficial Sixth Beatle & Other Assorted Items

1. Yesterday, the Professor was all sad because she didn't have any hobbies. I suggested skeet shooting or sex toy designing. Taketoshi thought she should go into blacksmithing. I then voted for combining blacksmithing and sex toy designing, but got quickly laughed out of consideration. As we were having this discussion, we were eating the most fabulous zucchini bread, which I am also eating right now, as we speak. Of course, we then realized that the Professor's hobby is baking. Yum yum. Not quite as great as having a friend in the sex toy business, but great nevertheless. 2. Sarcastro has had a bad week. It's partially Bobby Flay's fault. The post is poignant and touching (and a little funny), but it looks like the comments may be on the verge of something spectacular. Most folks are offering sympathy. Some are writing poetry. One guy is trying to convince Sarcastro's female readership to take shifts in nursing him back to his old self (for the record, I could probably take the 5:30-8 a.m. shift, if Sarcastro doesn't mind Mrs. Wigglebottom). And, AND, his ex-girlfriend is on there calling him a jackass. It's not right to gain amusement from other people's pain, but it's the American way, so enjoy. 3. I've recently heard from the Kingmaker. He told me I was one of the smartest people he'd ever met. I was overcome by the desire to make out with him in public. The trouble with mafia movies is that, though there's a subtle layer of homoeroticism, with all the guns and the kisses of death, they don't explicitly tell you when it's appropriate to smooch the people who could end your career. Still, I realized, pretty much all it takes is for you to say I'm brilliant, and I will make out with you. 4. I'm getting a number of hits from the United Arab Emirate and Saudi Arabia looking for "nephews and aunts fucking" and "I want to fuck my aunt." To which I say, "Yuck!" and "I can almost guarantee that your aunt does not want to fuck you, young man." 5. I stupidly let the dog sleep on my lap this afternoon, even though it is one million degrees out.

5 Comments:

Blogger Taketoshi said...

I still say noon-sexual blacksmithing is the best hobby choice.

8/13/2005 10:07:00 AM  
Blogger Twyla said...

You're brilliant.

8/13/2005 03:07:00 PM  
Blogger MSSunderstood said...

You. Are! BRILLIANT!!




Noon-sexual...I'm Conffused?
I'd rather do my blacksmithing in the cool of the morning.

8/13/2005 03:28:00 PM  
Blogger Taketoshi said...

oops non-sexual

damn my stiff typing fingers

8/13/2005 06:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Beekeeping is the only hobby worth pondering. It requires far less work than being a smithy. Let the damn bees do all the work. Show up later in a goofy outfit and reap their sweet reward.

Don't judge the ex-girlfriend too harshly. There is no real acrimony. Plus, she's coming over to do laundry later and I don't want to fuck that deal up.

I fully support any amusement gained from the misery of others, including my own.

8/14/2005 01:19:00 PM  

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