Something You Must Never Tell Mrs. Wigglebottom

Y'all know that I love Mrs. Wigglebottom as much as any girl has loved any dog. She is my darling and I cannot wait to take her to the park today. I mean, if not for her, who would make room for me in my own bed? Because, let me tell you, the cats? Though they don't look like a formidable problem, after 1:30 in the morning, they transform, seemingly, into lead and then place themselves strategically around the bed so that a person cannot get under the covers, even though it's cold, because she refuses to turn the heat back on because she's "cultivating her happiness" or something and only the dog can convince them to move--the cats, not the happiness. Where was I? Oh, yes, what you must never tell Mrs. Wigglebottom. I find a good sturdy brown dog to be almost irresistible. Look here at this awesome brown dog that Brittney's dog is playing with and gaze upon a dog of amazing aesthetics. Well, gaze upon its butt. But I think you get the idea.