Tuesday, March 22, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Tarot Cards
- For the Ladies
- My Stomach is Full and My Soul is Happy
- The Men in IT
- St. Patty's Day Gone Wrong [Madlibs version]
- Lunch at the Tin Roof
- Five Songs You Aren't Listening to But Should
- Atlanta is Not Far Enough Away
- I Love You, Anonymous Woman
- Thanks, Grandma
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
2 Comments:
You and I come at food issues from a slightly different perspective (as you/we have noted many times) I actually enjoy healthy foods like brown bread, fruits, veggies, etc. I also like full fat sharp cheddar cheese, Petit Ecolier cookies, deep fried appetizers and Quarter Pounder value meals at McDonald's (and will continue running marathons just so I can continue eating such things).
But...
Speaking of vending machines, I have to know if there's any chance that your irritation from lunch led you to try out your telepathic powers this morning? Because I went to the vending machine for a granola bar and the machine gave me two (two! this is a machine that regularly steals my money) bags of Cheez-Its instead. I immediately attributed this noteworthy (paranormal? auspicious? joyous?) event to you.
God, if I could eat fried cheese sticks every day along with apples and carrot sticks, I'd never bitch again. It's not that I don't like those things, I just love junk food better.
And I think the fat from the junk food makes me happy or keeps me happy or something.
I'd like to think I'm responsible for the vending machine fortuity. Maybe I am subconsciously, because I'm trying to make this a day without cookies. On Friday, I plan to feed the Professor and the Sheik Hostess Cupcakes soaked in Jack Daniels and I plan on eating them, too.
...mmm, the cupcakes or the Professor and the Sheik... I'll let the ambiguity stand.
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