Monday, April 04, 2005

Apple, you are not a snack I love, but you'll have to do

I have been procrastinating. I have not mopped the floor. I have not moved the work I brought home from the trunk of my car. I have not listened to rap music uncensored in an effort to see what aesthetic difference that makes. I've not even discovered whether my senator has any other serial-killer traits other than killing animals. Friends, as much as I must eat cookies in the afternoon or be the world's grouchiest person, today, I ate an apple instead. What have I been doing instead of doing the things I should? Playing some stupid golf game on the Playstation. Here's the weird thing: I don't even like it, I don't think. I don't enjoy almost succeeding, over and over, until I almost fail, but somehow move on to the next level. I don't like the constant anxiety I feel as I'm waffling back and forth between terrible and not very good. But, oh boy, do I want to kick the game's ass. And I want to get really good and kick the Butcher's ass. Do I think this will make the game more enjoyable? I doubt it. But I feel driven, now, to play. A lot of pop culture commentators worry about the effects of violent imagery in video games and what prolonged exposure to such images does to us. After spending my weekend on the couch moving nothing but my right thumb, I'm more concerned about what being exposed to that level of anxiety for prolonged periods of time does to a person. Yet, I can't help but note that procrastinating makes me anxious and yet I revel in that feeling. So, what can you do? Next thing you know, I'll be playing Grand Theft Auto.


Blogger the Professor said...

I have come to enjoy my apple with a little peanut butter, or even better with Nutella. That way, I get the healthy apple and the sweet yummyness too.
Of course, nothing helps with the procrastination!

4/04/2005 04:50:00 PM  
Blogger The Corporate Shill said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/04/2005 05:17:00 PM  
Blogger The Corporate Shill said...

LE has a copy of GTA: Vice City that he doesn't play anymore -- I'm sure he'd send it your way! Lately, he's been spending quality time with GTA: San Andreas. Hey -- something else you two can agree on! Something strange is going on here.

As for reveling in the feelings of anxiety triggered by procrastination... I think we probably do that because it makes us feel like we're important. Worrying about what I need to get done is weirdly comforting (validating?) when you lead a life of quiet insignificance. I don't say that in a disparaging way -- I'm mostly happy with my yupscale suburban life with the Eagle -- but let's not pretend we're changing the world!

Also, I'm not sure what to make of your shift to an apple for a snack and my shift to eating an entire bag of Swedish fish...

4/04/2005 05:20:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Hmm. Well, I guess I think that this is what changing the world looks like: assuming you have a right to a home, to a body that will take you twenty-six miles, to a job.

Compared to the rest of humanity, present and past, we live radical lives.

That being said, I envy your Swedish fish.

4/05/2005 08:26:00 AM  

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