Sunday, May 29, 2005

Nashville, Stop Going to the Chickering Road Side of the Park!

The dog and I got up early and went to the park. We go around to the back side of the park where it's just us, the bikers, and the golfers. Every once in a while I say something brilliant to the Professor and she'll say something about how good therapy should help you to reach those insights and I think, egad, if therapy is just more mulling over crap, I could never go. I'm always already in my head, dragging old hurts out and trying them back on to see if they still fit. I'm replaying conversations from a decade ago. I'm wishing I'd been braver in this situation, less drunk in that one. I'm mulling over the ways my parents ruined me. I'm devising plans to free my brothers from their problems. On and on, I'm always fretting about something or other. It's one of the reasons I love to crochet and I'm excited about my first forays into knitting. You have to concentrate on it just hard enough to make sure things are going right--which calms the fretting--and not hard enough that you can't enjoy the fact that your brain has shut down. And so this is why I love the park, even if it takes us 50 minutes to do the two-mile loop, which makes us just a little slower than molasses. When I get up the first little hill, everything is kind of aching and I'm thinking I should just turn around and pretend like running the dog around me in circles counts as "going to the park." But then I get warmed up and by about the halfway point, I'm not thinking about anything. Nothing at all. I notice that it's beautiful and sometimes I see the owl who lives at the top of the hill and I'm listening for oncoming cars, but everything in my head has just shut down. As much as I hate exercising, I really cherish that half an hour where I'm just a body on a road with another furry, happy body walking next to me. And today, we saw seven other dogs on our usually dog-free side of the park. I was distraught because Mrs. Wigglebottom usually has to bark and lunge and act like a wildebeest. But, to my surprise, today she was visibly curious about the other dogs, but stayed by my side and walked right by them with no problem whatsoever. Still, Nashville, this is our side of the park. We go to great lengths to pee all over it once a week to make sure you know that!

5 Comments:

Blogger thehomelessguy said...

what a great post! Getting out of your own mind is a pleasant thing, once you figure out how to do it. Photography was one way I'd learned to do it. And, I too have picked up knitting, but haven't been to active with it lately. Still, I've got lots of yarn just waiting. And I do have a little digital camera.

Thanks for this bit of honesty on your part. We CAN take time away from our worries - thanks for the reminder.

5/29/2005 02:35:00 PM  
Blogger Twinkletoes said...

Whatever you and Mrs. Wigglebottom do, don't do this: http://inmylittletown.blogspot.com/2005/05/maiden-voyage-ends-in-disaster.html

5/29/2005 04:42:00 PM  
Blogger _Summer_ said...

"...bark and lunge and act like a wildebeest."


Oh, how I've known that feeling myself so many times. *sigh*

Lovely entry.

5/29/2005 11:18:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Oh, Twinkletoes, you are not the first person I've heard of this happening to. I have a friend who has a dog that's part German Shepherd, who's knocked her off her bike a couple of times while trying to "herd" her away from the dangers of the road. I hope you're healing.

5/30/2005 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger Twinkletoes said...

Henry and I went out again for another try yesterday. Get back on the horse and all that. I was timid, the ride was mild--in that, we didn't collapse into a heap. But, sadly, I don't think the Alameda Cruiser is going to work for Henry. Maybe when he's older and less likely to bolt at every squirrel, cat, etc.

But I have some cool bruises and scrapes to share with my friends!

5/30/2005 11:04:00 AM  

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