Happy Thanksgiving
The Super Genius has one of the most ingenious ideas (hence the name, I suppose) for Thanksgiving, of taking a moment to say something you are not thankful for, just to be contrary.
I am not thankful that my parents don't drink. Not only don't they drink, they've managed to foster some kind of atmosphere where the three of us kids also feel compelled to not drink in their presence. Since my family is bat-shit crazy, this tends to make family get-togethers a gruelling exercise in terribleness. But I always assumed everyone was miserable.
Recently, I found out that the recalcitrant brother and the Butcher were frequently sneaking outside to smoke up during these occasions. And have been since high school.
Oh, fuck you, my dear brothers, who found an escape and did not share! I am ungrateful to you, you bastards.
But I am grateful that the five of us can mark yet another year of getting on each other's nerves. I hold out hope that this may be the holiday that we all get along and enjoy each other's company. I'm looking forward to seeing the nephews and I'm excited to watch the Butcher prepare the meal. However it turns out, I'll let you know.
In the meantime, be safe and have a happy holiday.
posted by Aunt B at 11/23/2005 05:02:00 PM
11 Comments:
Hahahaha, it never ceases to amaze me how much we have in common, B. My parents are rabid non-drinkers, too. So I don't drink. I do, however, smoke a lot of p...all malls. If Mystery Lady X and St. Mark knew, they'd DIE. But they'd probably be happier than if I was to be a drinker.
I can't believe your brothers didn't share, though! Reason #1358 that friends are better than family!
Yeah, man. Sibling "step outs" are a holiday must. Your brothers suck on this count.
Happy Thanksgiving, B. I hope all is well and everyone gets along tomorrow and yet, if it seems that all is not going that way just watch the brothers closely and follow them outside...
I just don't give a damn whether my mother likes it that I drink or not. I'm a grown up now and she can just kiss my big fat behind. I drink only on occassion. I prefer a port wine - OMG - that is the best tasting, expensive, mind you, wine EVER. I like the buzz mostly but not the bloat. Can't smoke the p..all malls. The workplace discourages that, like randomly and all.
I'm not thankful that my mother had me when she was 16.
Your workplace is violating your 4th amendment rights, yanno! Unreasonable search! :-D
This is not a problem for me. Being Irish, the whole family is a bunch of drunks.
I suppose that's nothing to be proud of, but it greases the holiday wheels.
Do the brothers an equal injustice and spike your beverage with vodka throughout the day. So while they are all high and passive, you are getting increasingly mouthy and aggressive.
Guaranteed to improve any occasion.
Hmm. I don't know. I'm usually not really an angry drunk. I get all effusive or weepy (Prof., don't you think that sums it up?) and, perhaps, the only thing weirder than me sitting around finally being all "Fuck you and you, and you, especially" would be if I sat around and was like "I know we've had some rough times, but I love you. No, I mean it, you guys are so great."
Although, considering we rarely say nice things to each other, that might be its own kind of funny.
Prof, if I don't beg you, I don't know what I'm going to do with this t-shirt that says "58." I had it made months ago, but until I actually get you into bed, I can't wear it anywhere.
Hey aunt B and the professor,
If I could get that on tape, I'll make you famous.
I'm huge in Japan.
Don't sell yourself short, Boy Scout. I'm pretty sure you're huge everywhere.
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