Thursday, November 10, 2005

Time for a name change?

Oh, y'all, I forgot to tell you that the Redheaded Kid got his hair cut. Before yesterday, he had kind of long shaggy hair that fell all in his face. When the Redheaded Kid was indulging in any non-cancerous recreational activities, he'd just kind of swing his hair down over his face and he looked like so many other young mopey boys. But, folks, he walked in my house last night with this short 'do that let you see his face and, wow, I'm afraid I'm going to have to change his nickname to the Redheaded Man. He looks hot! And manly. Anyway, he got a hair cut because he quit his job. The reasons why are all very convoluted and I would have listened more carefully, but I was drunk, reading Walt Whitman, listening to rap music, and eating cookies. In other words, I was distracted. But, for some reason, he told his manager to fuck off and walked out of work, never to return. And so he got a hair cut because he's looking for a new job. "I'm just going to tell them right up front that I can't pass the drug test. I mean, why waste my time and theirs?" He said. "You could always stop doing drugs," I pointed out. "Listen, B.," he leaned over towards me, pointing his finger right in my face. "You can't ask me to do that. My life sucks. I'm twenty years old. I live with my parents. And I don't have a job. Smoking pot is all I have." "Okay," I said. "But then how are you going to get a job?" "I'm not. I'm going back to school." "They have the best drugs at college," chimed in the Butcher. "How do you know? You went to college for half a semester." I said. "Exactly," he smiled and reached for one of my cookies.


Blogger Exador said...

"My life sucks. I'm twenty years old. I live with my parents. And I don't have a job. Smoking pot is all I have."

Man, that's priceless.

I notice the redhead kid is not in you cast of character on the right sidebar.

11/10/2005 01:41:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

The trouble with coming up with some kind of pithy explaination for the Redheaded Kid is that nothing he ever does is reducable to one short line.

I mean, the boy threatened to fuck me on the table at Red Lobster right in front of my brother in an insane attempt to get my brother to give up on really trying to eat all he could eat of the shrimp.

He stole some meatloaf and threatened to kill himself.

He thinks Kiss is a good band and likes Cinderella non-ironically.

And yet, none of those things really capture the strangeness of this kid who wanders in our house every once in a while for the sole purpose, seemingly, of opening cans of Dr Pepper and leaving them sit where the dog can knock them over.

But I'll think on it.

I've been threatening to do a big update. I've just been distracted by the level of vitriol some folks feel towards Babs Streisand.

11/10/2005 02:05:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

For a second there I thought you were referring to my oldest son, but then I remembered he is only 19 and has brown hair.


11/10/2005 02:31:00 PM  
Blogger Exador said...

I don't know, it just seems like a different sex act would have been more appropriate for Red Lobster; something more cunning, if you know what I mean.

Anyone willing to kill themselves with a meatloaf is not someone to be trifled with.

Buy deadbolts. Get your brother to install them.

11/10/2005 02:59:00 PM  
Blogger TVonthefritz said...

Aunt B.,
You'll have to post pictures of the Red Headed Man.

11/10/2005 03:20:00 PM  
Blogger Tequila Red said...

Always keep one eye on the redheads. They're a shifty lot.

11/10/2005 03:28:00 PM  
Blogger rugdesigner said...

The redheaded kid/boy/man never fails to make me laugh.

11/10/2005 04:18:00 PM  
Blogger TVonthefritz said...

The red headed man-boy sounds hot. Does he like the fellas at all...maybe after one too many bong hits?

11/10/2005 06:36:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

I'm not sure that the Redheaded Kid is sexual at all. Hence the reason the Red Lobster thing was so surprising.

11/10/2005 08:20:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home