Hurray! My dog is scary

So, they've not yet caught the guy who's breaking into people's houses in the neighborhood and so even the Butcher is locking our doors consistently. Last night, as I was stumbling to the door, drunk and pissed off, I could find the 4 tampons that magically disappear whenever I fucking need them, a Christmas card from the Shill and her husband, and a bottle of Tylenol I'd forgotten about, but I could not find my car keys in my giant purse of annoyance. So, I had to break into the house. This is pretty easily achieved with a credit card, which is distressing, when you think about it. But, as I'm jimmying the lock, from the other side of the door, I hear this low, deep growl, that's slowly getting louder and louder. I knew it was Mrs. Wigglebottom on the other side of the door, and even I was a little nervous about opening the door for fear she'd be in mid-pounce. A dog is definitely the best theft-deterrence one can have in this neighborhood.