Thursday, April 21, 2005

I Give Props to Those Who Deserve It--The All Girls Edition

Red kicks ass and takes names. I often don't agree with her (for I am a hippy dippy liberal and she's no softy), but, if there's ever a feminist tag-team rasslin' cage match, I want her in my corner. Peggasus could totally be our manager, wearing these kick-ass shoes. Astrid is up to something over here. Go check her out. Extra points if you corrupt her or cause her to choose English as a major (those may be the same things). And, last but not least, there's some other blogger here in Nashville and she's funny and snarky. What the fuck?! Did people not get the memo? I am the funny, snarky Nashville blogger. Sure, I don't have the recognition of the Nashville Scene or the legitimacy that comes from leaving the house every once in a while, but whatever. Saucy Librarian. Pbthbhth. Speaking of wrestling, maybe I could wrestling the Saucy Librarian for the title of "Funny, Snarky Nashville Blogger." I'd have the upper hand, based on my brief, incredibly lame affair with an amateur professional wrestler. Yes, when I first moved to Nashville, I dated an amateur professional wrester. "Why?" you ask? America, I did it for you. There are just some things that a girl's got to do when the opportunity presents itself. Letting a professional wrestler too short to crack the big leagues buy you some meals and teach you how to take a chair shot is one of them. Here's the two things he taught me about wrestling. One, use the front side of the folding chair. Two, cut your forehead open before your match and then seal the wound shut with Vasoline. That way, you don't have to get hit too hard with said chair in order to bleed dramatically. Here's the one thing he taught me about life: If they never want to go to their house, they have a spouse. Hmm. It's a truism in a rhyming couplet. The funniest thing he ever said to me, upon discovering that I would not want to continue seeing him once I discovered said wife: "But I talked to my pastor about this! Jesus has forgiven me. Why can't you?"


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