Tuesday, May 17, 2005

It's the end of the world, as I know it

Earth-shattering things have happened to me before, but never has one left me as rattled as what happened to me today. I fell in love with Toby Keith. I hate Toby Keith. I think he's an arrogant, smug, sanctimonious jackass whose lips annoy me in ways I can't even express. I hate all his music, except "How Do You Like Me Now?" and I hate that dirty, beat-up cowboy hat he always wears and that they now sell replicas of all over town. I hate the casual misogyny of his lyrics and his videos. I hate how he acts like he's the first and only person to truly understand the plight of our troops and I hate how he acts like including them in his videos makes him some hero-by-proxy. Gah. I loathe him. But today, as I was doing research for my bitch about the New York Times, I stumbled across this article in today's Tennessean, about how Toby Keith is going to start his own music label and why. Nothing but good can come of this. As his arch-enemies, The Dixie Chicks, pointed out years ago, the system here in town is deeply flawed and any shake-up is a good shake-up. But it's not just the fact that he's taken a page from rap (Ha, country music, you were so worried about what Tim was doing with Nelly that you failed to account for what Toby might be learning from Dr. Dre.) that's made my hard heart soften to him just a little, it's the reasons he gives for doing it. Toby knows how to speak to my soul. I love people who are loyal to their friends and Keith is pissed that the folks from Dreamworks, who helped him become a star, were all fired when Universal bought Dreamworks. I love people who can understand the broader reasons for problems, and he talks about how stupid it was for his label to release his greatest hits and Shania Twain's greatest hits on the same day: '''It waters the date down. Not everybody's got $40 to lay down on two CDs. Middle America, blue-collar country people have enough trouble buying one CD,' he said." And, oh, he also loves to bitch about the problems of blue-collar people! He's so dreamy. In a perfect world, his first act would be to sign the Dixie Chicks to his label. That would be so great.


Blogger Peggasus said...

You have a bitch?


5/17/2005 06:34:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

You've seen pictures. If Mrs. Wigglebottom isn't a bitch, I don't know what is. She's always complaining about the New York Times.

5/17/2005 06:42:00 PM  

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