I'm Sorry, I Know They're Corny, But I Love These Things

Okay, folks, a new rule. Well, two new rules. One, I will finally learn my cell phone number, even if it means I have to do like Mike Jones and put it on a t-shirt I wear all the time. I will also endeavor to put some numbers in my phone, other than just the Butcher's and my Dad's. But rule two: If you tap me for something, cripes, email me and make sure I've seen it. The email's in the profile and if you're too lazy to look there, you can get me at appropriateaunt at yahoo dot com. Just know that I'm much more likely to answer you if you write me in rhyming couplets (okay, that's not true, but it'd still be cool). So, Dorcasina hit me for this and I'm obliging. 1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

• I lost the tread off my right front tire coming down Black Mountain at 80 miles an hour. This was not the stupid part. I managed to keep control of the car and get over to the side of the road safely and empty out my trunk and get the spare out before I realized I wasn't strong enough to turn the lug nuts. This was not the stupid part, either. The stupid part was that I GOT IN A CAR WITH TWO TOTAL STRANGERS and let them take me to a gas station. God, it chills me to the bone every time I think of how wrong that could have gone.
• I made no contingency plan for after college in case I didn't get into grad school. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't and so when I didn't, I just moved back home and loathed my life for a year.
• I spent all four years of college being way too cautious. I should have at least kissed Andy Kulak and the Legal Eagle's brother because I really, really wanted to, instead of fumbling around with drunk frat boys I didn't care about one way or another, but I was afraid that, if I did and they didn't like it, we wouldn't be friends anymore. Of course, we aren't friends anymore as it is, so what would have been the harm?

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life? The Butcher, of course. Not only because he's always around and doing things that affect me, but because he's taught me a lot about being creative and open and brave and friendly. 3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick? Walt Whitman, of course, even though I suspect he'd dominate the conversation. My Grandma A., who I miss so much and who would insist on making the dinner and what I wouldn't give for that. Her beef and noodles would instantly put everyone at ease. Zora Neale Hurston, who was always brave enough to go see for herself. Why did no one ever bother to ask her about what she'd learned? Is there anyone else who has both her scholarly and personal experience with African American belief systems? Dean Martin. Tee hee. I hope he'd spend the meal winking at me. Gillian Welch. They don't have to be dead, right? She just seems like the kind of person would would really get how cool it would be to be in the same room with Whitman, Hurston, and Martin and she and my grandma could sing all kinds of old songs together. 4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

• Better times for my brothers
• Security and happiness for my nephews
• Easy deaths a long time from now for the people I care about.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid. I regret we don't have free parking downtown or a really good Chinese restaurant. People should avoid the interstates and the Hard Rock. 6. Name one event that has changed your life. Getting this job. I make the same now as my dad did when I graduated from college, so this job has really meant moving myself up into the lower middle class (or upper lower class). Hurray! 7. Who else to tag? Taketoshi and Steve Pick and anyone else who wants to.