Thursday, September 29, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Why the Butcher's Getting Searched at the Airport
- Google, Don't be that way
- "This disgusting trade in human misery"
- Yes, I am a broken record
- A blog like any other
- Vinny Testaverde
- Halloween Attire
- The Neighborhood
- In Defense of Kate Moss
- Renewed Sense of Optimism
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
9 Comments:
Seriously, America, could I be any more uncouth?
That was pretty uncouth, but Peg was more uncouth. Now if you had pictures of the police officer/Tin Roof incident...... that would be uncouth.
W
There's a law about whipping out your tits and lecturing them in public? Who knew? Whew, thanks for filling me in, B, you probably saved me from a life in prison being some fat chick's bitch.
And THAT is my contribution to uncouthness this fine day. Peace.
Aw, Twyla, my whole plan was to get us thrown in federal prison together so that you could be this fat chick's bitch.
My dasterly plans always go astray.
You had a water buffalo burger for lunch?
But hey now! All I'm doing is reporting on some innocent golf course banter.
Go poke yourself.
You know I'm kidding with this, right?
Duh.
Except about the buffalo burger part.
Naw, having the pictures of the police officer/not a stripper incident would be genius. Sharing them would be uncouth.
That was hysterical.
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