Thursday, September 29, 2005

Back from Lunch Early

The guy down the hall took me to Ted's for lunch. As always, I'm up for some large game animal in patty form. But we got back early and now the office seems to be channeling Peg. Some folks are walking around barefoot. I'm trying to convince my boobs to be cuter--perkier, less excited about seeing what my knees are up to. Someone is singing and someone else is fighting with UPS. Now, the police are here*. But the most important thing is that this marks the second opportunity today I've had to drive my car. Oh, car, how I've missed you and that feeling of freedom you give me, even when you only have a quarter of a tank of gas. *Apparently there's some law about whipping out and lecturing your tits in public... No, I kid, the police are here on a totally benign mission. Though the whole thing reminds me of an important lesson I learned at the Tin Roof one evening right after it first opened: Just because there are two bachelorette parties getting drunk some place, that's no guarantee that the man in a police uniform who comes up to one of their tables is a stripper and no matter how drunk you and your cousin are, the two of you should not try to unbutton his shirt.

9 Comments:

Blogger Aunt B said...

Seriously, America, could I be any more uncouth?

9/29/2005 12:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was pretty uncouth, but Peg was more uncouth. Now if you had pictures of the police officer/Tin Roof incident...... that would be uncouth.

W

9/29/2005 12:51:00 PM  
Blogger twila said...

There's a law about whipping out your tits and lecturing them in public? Who knew? Whew, thanks for filling me in, B, you probably saved me from a life in prison being some fat chick's bitch.

And THAT is my contribution to uncouthness this fine day. Peace.

9/29/2005 02:07:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Aw, Twyla, my whole plan was to get us thrown in federal prison together so that you could be this fat chick's bitch.

My dasterly plans always go astray.

9/29/2005 02:19:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

You had a water buffalo burger for lunch?

But hey now! All I'm doing is reporting on some innocent golf course banter.

Go poke yourself.

9/29/2005 02:21:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

You know I'm kidding with this, right?

Duh.

Except about the buffalo burger part.

9/29/2005 03:22:00 PM  
Blogger bridgett said...

Naw, having the pictures of the police officer/not a stripper incident would be genius. Sharing them would be uncouth.

9/29/2005 04:33:00 PM  
Blogger babyjewels said...

That was hysterical.

9/29/2005 10:14:00 PM  
Blogger The Unknown said...

Love me?

9/30/2005 02:48:00 AM  

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