Friday, October 14, 2005

Good Whatever Time It Is

Today is the Professor's birthday. She called to see if I was coming out with them. Her phone call woke me from a drugged stupor. I wrestled the big yellow afghan and the dog nestled under my butt and struggled to find the phone. "Hello?" I croaked. "Oh, no." she said. Obviously, I'm not going out. I'm still tired, exhausted, but every time I shut my eyes I have the same vivid dream, that I am pregnant with Bam Margera's child because one of his friends--maybe Rake Jon--has replaced my birth control pills with sugar pills. Because he won't marry me, my friend Dan concocts this plan where he will fly in from San Diego, we will get married and then divorced later that day. The dream is mostly about how stressed out I feel lying to Dan's parents, who think this is a real wedding and are delighted, even though Dan is obviously pissed off at me. I've had this dream now four times. But back to real life: If I had a car, I'd have something spicy to eat. If it were spicy enough, I could taste it. That would be exciting. I may take a shower today. That will also be exciting. I'm not dead, sorry to disappoint those of you who didn't bring me drugs. But I'm not going out tonight, sorry to disappoint the birthday girl who did.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Around here on cold drugs, we either dream that we have motor boat shopping carts or that we are stirring a big vat of sludge like at the Jack Daniels place and we have fallen in and are using the stirring paddle to climb back out. I'll let you wonder who dreams what.

At least your baby would have an interesting extended family from what I could tell on the show.

Mentally, I am sending you some spicy chinese food which is what I like when I am sick. Maybe there's a chinese place with spicy stuff there that delivers since I can't bring it to you? Or you could order a pizza and then tell the delivery person what you really want is for them to make you some chili.

-SuperGenius

10/14/2005 03:27:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

The dream is never about the good stuff, only about the anxiety of discovering that I'm pregnant and must concoct a fake marriage. I don't know why, though. I think we kids are allowed one illegitimate child before the shotguns come out and the wedding must be had. At least that's been the pattern so far.

But this afternoon I finally had some dreamless sleep and am feeling more rested, finally.

10/14/2005 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

I want so badly to bring you something. I'm glad someone else is being good to you since I, although licensed, am not allowed to drive "on NyQuil".

HAND--Husbands Against NyQuil Drivers.

Glad Someone was kind.

10/14/2005 03:49:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Yes, some people can reduce a girl to tears, though she will wait until they've pulled away to be so reduced so that they can spend their afternoon under the illusion that she just expects that kind of stuff.

10/14/2005 03:53:00 PM  

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