Friday, October 14, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Is This Love in My Heart for Ann Coulter?
- Is "Lost" Lost?
- "No, don't bother. I'm still contagious."
- My Friends Rule
- The Other Awesome Thing
- For As Long as It's a Relevant Question
- Movies
- Non-organic Women
- Routine--Like Ritual, but Without the Praying
- Poor Planning
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
4 Comments:
Around here on cold drugs, we either dream that we have motor boat shopping carts or that we are stirring a big vat of sludge like at the Jack Daniels place and we have fallen in and are using the stirring paddle to climb back out. I'll let you wonder who dreams what.
At least your baby would have an interesting extended family from what I could tell on the show.
Mentally, I am sending you some spicy chinese food which is what I like when I am sick. Maybe there's a chinese place with spicy stuff there that delivers since I can't bring it to you? Or you could order a pizza and then tell the delivery person what you really want is for them to make you some chili.
-SuperGenius
The dream is never about the good stuff, only about the anxiety of discovering that I'm pregnant and must concoct a fake marriage. I don't know why, though. I think we kids are allowed one illegitimate child before the shotguns come out and the wedding must be had. At least that's been the pattern so far.
But this afternoon I finally had some dreamless sleep and am feeling more rested, finally.
I want so badly to bring you something. I'm glad someone else is being good to you since I, although licensed, am not allowed to drive "on NyQuil".
HAND--Husbands Against NyQuil Drivers.
Glad Someone was kind.
Yes, some people can reduce a girl to tears, though she will wait until they've pulled away to be so reduced so that they can spend their afternoon under the illusion that she just expects that kind of stuff.
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