Monday, November 28, 2005

The Bay Area Is Not Talking

Okay, when something monumental happens, you can sometimes understand why the mainstream media overlooks it, but you expect bloggers to uncover all the important stories. Well, I checked The Bay Area is Talking (sister blog to our lovely Nashville is Talking) and I checked Bruce's site and it appears I'm going to be the first blogger in either Nashville or the Bay Area to bring this amazing and yet disturbing story to your attention. Please click on this link. And then answer for me the following questions: Why would anyone do this? Why would 60,000 people want to develop this skill? Is "Iron Crotch" the best or worst name for a martial art? I can't decide.


Blogger SuperGenius said...

I have no answers for your questions because I am too busy being stunned...but Iron Crotch would be an awesome name for a band.

11/28/2005 12:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hopefully his wife prefers length to girth.


11/28/2005 01:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Wasn't Iron Crotch the name of that Kevin Costner/Cheech Marin golf movie?

Oh, wait...

11/28/2005 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

I am still considering the phrase 'the biggest penis pull of all time,' but it is unrelated to the bit about the 747.

11/28/2005 01:54:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

I'm a woman and that picture made my groin hurt.

And what a crappy guidance counselor that man had.

11/28/2005 02:59:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

....and now I'm weeping.

More details can be had about this man's unique hobby.

Penis qigong uses a variety of special exercises, including massage, slapping, pulling and hitting it with a tool. The breath is concentrated in the dantian and a cloth is used to bind the penis in special ways. It is important to note that this method is not practiced when aroused. Also, not everyone can learn this method.

Krep. I was so close.....

n two weeks, you will not feel thirsty as easily. After the first month, your vision will become clearer. By two months, your complexion will improve and the bags under your eyes will disappear, and by three months, you will require less sleep and feel powerful all of the time. Eventually, you won't feel the need to go the bathroom as often and any plaguing maladies will vanish.

Except, of course, the plaguing maladies induced by smacking your johnson with a tool. Personally, I'd just drink more water and continue wearing glasses. But the guy seems to be a big fan of this martial art.

The additional benefits:
Master's Tu's most incredible claim is that the highest masters of penis qigong can use it to pull cars, break ice blocks and even cut coconuts.

could come in pretty handy.

Stay tuned for their greatest feat, soon to come:

Master Tu has another extraordinary stunt in the works. He is in the process of getting clearance from the Taiwanese government to borrow a 747 jet airplane. Tu figures 20 to 24 of his top students, by strapping their penises, 6 to 8 men per wheel, can generate combined penis pulling power to move the 18,000-kilogram (39,780 lbs!) 747. That's over a ton and a half per penis.

Wow. I AM grateful that my religion requires different, less excruciating disciplines.

11/28/2005 03:13:00 PM  
Blogger Exador said...

You don't hear a phrase like,

combined penis pulling power,

every day.

11/28/2005 03:18:00 PM  
Blogger the Professor said...

B, check out Kat's link, the section on women too - this might be the way for you to get going on the ping pong ball trick.

11/28/2005 03:43:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

Ever since I've told Tim about the schlong chopping the coconut he hasn't stopped going on about "penis coladas".

I can't be trapped in this house with him all evening.

11/28/2005 05:54:00 PM  
Blogger dailydiablogger said...

One never knows when one might be engaged in a cock fight.

11/28/2005 06:56:00 PM  

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