What I Cooked for Thanksgiving

One 18 pound turkey stuffed with an apple, an orange, some bay leaves, some poultry seasoning. Would have been delicious if Dad hadn't insisted that he would not eat it unless we let it cook for another hour after the button popped. Green beans with mushroom soup and fried onion bits. Turned out fine. Sweet potatoes with marshmallows. Yum. Mashed potatoes. Lumpy, just like I like them. No one dared complain. Gravy. Woo-boy, did the gravy suck. Too thick and tasteless. Those coconut, chocolate and butterscotch chip bars. The littlest nephew helped me. That was good fun. Dinner conversation included the following: "B. has a blog." "What?" "You know how those idiots--including your sister--put all their thoughts on the internet for everyone to read for free? That thing." "Thanks, Dad." "My sister's a blogger. You're the reason everyone hates the president."