Wednesday, November 02, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Like Al Sharpton
- Men, It's time for a 'Come to Jesus' meeting
- Another Reason My Mom Rules
- Dr. Alter, I Will See You in Hell
- In Which I Praise One Christian Thing
- Listen Up, Blues Fans
- Demonization and Domestication
- Conservatives, Make Ready Your Fainting Couches
- I Reject Constructive Criticism
- A New and Better Afghan
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
8 Comments:
Bruce, you're currently my only troll and I think it's kind of cute that you called me 'vile,' but I can't help but feel like you might not be very experienced at this.
So, let me give you just two pointers. When trolling someone you should 1.) not use your real name and 2.) check your Blogger profile and make sure nothing there reveals your real name. It's just sloppy.
Brave, which I kind of respect you for, but sloppy.
Unless, of course, that's not your real name...
What about going for a lower-budget, longer-lasting version of pepper spray? Spray any would be attacker with air freshener, then sprinkle some ground black pepper on him. The miscellany of fragrances will confuse him and he'll (or she'll) be powerless to advance his attack.
Hey, it's Batman!
It's not the "dating" we're worried about, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce, men who don't have masuculinity issues are just fine with women who carry mace.
---- mystery girl
Bruce, considering that your idea of a good time is harrassing women you don't know, consider me relieved that you'd never date me.
Still, the 'vile' tickled me because, if you are who I think you are, you've seen some 'vile' and, wow, I'm in strange company.
If you have 35 multiple attackers, your problem isn't so much the 35 multiple attackers as it is that you have now fallen in to some sort of a martial arts movie.
Multiple Attackers would be an awesome name for a band. They could play at Fat Cooter's Bar.
-SuperGenius
That's too bad. I'd rather be heckled by someone who'd made the cover of Newsweek than just some ordinary shmoe.
For God's sake, buy a gun already! I feel fine saying that because I am WAY out of range.
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