Thursday, January 26, 2006
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Not So Funny Now, Is It?
- Troubling Revelations about Elvis Costello
- Little Bits of This and That
- Mad With Power!
- Pandering Democrats Can Suck My Butt
- A Guide to Illinois
- Did I Ever Tell Y'all About the Tarantula?
- My Neighbor
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
26 Comments:
I couldn't care less whether you link to me or not. I don't base my self-worth on whether I am deemed linkworthy by some random, self-important chick with a blog.
Actually, I didn't notice that you didn't link to me. I was too busy trying to find a reason to write another poem about your rack.
Don't blame me for your link laziness, woman. I knew you before you were winning blog awards. I tried not to let my smoke blow on you when we were drinking. I even tried to buy one of your t-shirts, but my credit card was declined.
I am hurt. I have a heart, and you're breaking it.
Someone bring me a tissue.
J.
I'm sure I'm not on the list anywhere. I'm not from the midwest, nor Tennessee. I rarely have anything intelligent to say on my blog, and I'm sure most here would agree that I rarely have anything intelligent to say in general. But that is ok with me. I enjoy reading these posts, and I enjoy the conversations. I'm sure I will not always agree with you all, nor will you with me, but the communication and the conversation is the important part isn't it?
I do hope I don't offend anyone here, that will NEVER be my intention.
Hey, I'm not some random self-important chick with a blog. I'm this specific self-important chick with a blog.
I'm not purposefully not linking to anyone. Jon's right. I'm just totally lazy and trying to throw it back on y'all to let me know who I should be reading during lunch.
Don't be offended Knucklehead, I'm begging you. I live for the poems about my tits and would be crushed if they stopped.
David, don't worry. You'd have to try pretty damn hard to offend anyone. I think everyone gets that there are a lot of different folks of a lot of different backgrounds and persuasions and that there's going to be a lot of disagreement. As long as there aren't personal attacks and everyone treats me with the teasing affection I deserve, it's all good.
God, I should really open a bar. Then Jon could buy me drinks all night and I could hear the tit poems in person.
Huck, look at you! You get a couple of good licks in and you're strutting around like some old tom cat.
"some old tomcat" made me laugh
Like I'd buy you drinks while you listened to some other guy trys to rhyme boob freckle.
I may be a man-whore, but I'm not easy, dammit.
-J.
P.s. - Please fix my typos. Someone might think I can't spell, or suck or something.
-J
My god. Okay, fine. I will never write another post insinuating that anyone sucks. I thought it was funny. I didn't mean to make anyone feel self-conscious or unloved.
Jon, you were the first person who read Tiny Cat Pants that I didn't already know that intrigued me enough that I had to meet him. I should buy you drinks.
Hey I'm not some other guy. I'm this specific guy.
Knucklehead ain't one you can easily heckle
Nor challenge to to find a rhyme to boob freckle
Bush has the swagger of a Junior High Gym Teacher.
That's not some veiled rip at his character. I'm really talking about the way he walks. He just needs a whistle and a pair of those black nut-hugger shorts.
There is a huge possibility I suck. Then I might not suck. Actually I think I would like to be The suck, although that sounds slightly pornographic.
Everything is relative.
Like coming over to hang out. Thanks for not having me arrested for stalking.
I know I'll never be linked to except by my friends, which is okay, but to say that it isn't flattering is a tad dishonest. Based on what I have read here, it seems the key thing is to be, I dunno, pithy? There are certainly some good writers in Nashville, but I have to say that some seem more concerned with style than substance, and that's a shame. Now, can someone clue me in on this whole, tits thing?
I'm so late to this conversation of self-consciousness, I feel a little self-conscious saying anything...
I DO suck. Unless you're a Republican, a Christian, or a Yankees fan. Then I'll just give you a hand job.
hhhmmm Plimco, I got 2 out of 3...what does that get me, a kick in the nuts?
LOL
Mack, it's an ongoing joke. When I get nervous, I tend to ramble on about my tits, which is not really a nervous habit one wants to have in most social situations. Now, we just yack about tits in general, whenever it seems most appropriate, or inappropriate.
Plimco! I'm scandalized.
Oh, come ON, Aunt B! It takes a bit more than THAT to scandalize you.
Yeah, you're right. It's too late now to try to cultivate some reputation as a delicate flower.
Ha! You would be one of those edible flowers they put on wedding cakes.
I have no idea what that means.
Aunt B, thanks for letting me in on that.
Now I must say I am hopelessly in love with Plimco....
Plimco, I think it means you think I taste sweet and you want to put me in your mouth.
And who doesn't?
Mack, I already have a blog boyfriend, but hey. It's open.
My blog has hemorrhoids bigger than your blog.
Put that on a tshirt
I'm honored to be noticed...and I was just going to assume I don't suck.
but I have to say that some seem more concerned with style than substance, and that's a shame.
That is complete bullshit. I object. In fact, if I knew who the hell you were, I wouldn't read your blog as a matter principle.
J
Post a Comment
<< Home