Thursday, January 26, 2006

How Do You Know if You Suck?

You may be sitting there wondering if this post is addressed to you. My god, I am. And I do wonder if I suck. How can I tell, Aunt B.? Would you like me to link to you? Oh boy! Would I ever! Are you going to have the courage to tell me that you're out there and need linking to? Oh, well, no. No, I don't have that kind of courage. Then, my friend, I'm afraid you suck. But I will find you and link to you, eventually. Mark my words. And, because I'm a lazy son-of-a-bitch, I will never unlink you, so that even when you take a little "hiatus" and move and change your name and your job and even the gender of one of your children so that you're so lost even your mom can't find you and months go by until finally you figure it's safe to resurface, BAM there I am, already linked to you... Jon. Anyway, here're the folks already on the listen for getting linked to in the next big update. If your name is here, you may suck; you may not. You just can't use this little test to figure it out. Plimco Newscoma Mephistophocles Jag Nashville Knucklehead Tabula Rasa Anyone else who needs to be on the list can either out themselves in the comments or email me.


Blogger Nashville Knucklehead said...

I couldn't care less whether you link to me or not. I don't base my self-worth on whether I am deemed linkworthy by some random, self-important chick with a blog.

Actually, I didn't notice that you didn't link to me. I was too busy trying to find a reason to write another poem about your rack.

1/26/2006 07:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't blame me for your link laziness, woman. I knew you before you were winning blog awards. I tried not to let my smoke blow on you when we were drinking. I even tried to buy one of your t-shirts, but my credit card was declined.

I am hurt. I have a heart, and you're breaking it.

Someone bring me a tissue.


1/26/2006 07:00:00 PM  
Blogger DMartin said...

I'm sure I'm not on the list anywhere. I'm not from the midwest, nor Tennessee. I rarely have anything intelligent to say on my blog, and I'm sure most here would agree that I rarely have anything intelligent to say in general. But that is ok with me. I enjoy reading these posts, and I enjoy the conversations. I'm sure I will not always agree with you all, nor will you with me, but the communication and the conversation is the important part isn't it?

I do hope I don't offend anyone here, that will NEVER be my intention.

1/26/2006 07:23:00 PM  
Blogger HUCK said...

I've learned offending can be fun, David M.

You should reach out and piss someone off. Beats the shit out of boredom, at least.

1/26/2006 07:50:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Hey, I'm not some random self-important chick with a blog. I'm this specific self-important chick with a blog.

I'm not purposefully not linking to anyone. Jon's right. I'm just totally lazy and trying to throw it back on y'all to let me know who I should be reading during lunch.

Don't be offended Knucklehead, I'm begging you. I live for the poems about my tits and would be crushed if they stopped.

David, don't worry. You'd have to try pretty damn hard to offend anyone. I think everyone gets that there are a lot of different folks of a lot of different backgrounds and persuasions and that there's going to be a lot of disagreement. As long as there aren't personal attacks and everyone treats me with the teasing affection I deserve, it's all good.

God, I should really open a bar. Then Jon could buy me drinks all night and I could hear the tit poems in person.

1/26/2006 07:52:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Huck, look at you! You get a couple of good licks in and you're strutting around like some old tom cat.

1/26/2006 07:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"some old tomcat" made me laugh

1/26/2006 08:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like I'd buy you drinks while you listened to some other guy trys to rhyme boob freckle.

I may be a man-whore, but I'm not easy, dammit.


1/26/2006 08:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.s. - Please fix my typos. Someone might think I can't spell, or suck or something.


1/26/2006 08:56:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

My god. Okay, fine. I will never write another post insinuating that anyone sucks. I thought it was funny. I didn't mean to make anyone feel self-conscious or unloved.

Jon, you were the first person who read Tiny Cat Pants that I didn't already know that intrigued me enough that I had to meet him. I should buy you drinks.

1/26/2006 09:19:00 PM  
Blogger Nashville Knucklehead said...

Hey I'm not some other guy. I'm this specific guy.

Knucklehead ain't one you can easily heckle
Nor challenge to to find a rhyme to boob freckle

1/26/2006 09:23:00 PM  
Blogger HUCK said...

What can I say. When you're drunk with power, you tend to strut a little.

Check out Bush's swagger. The man's sloppy with it.

1/26/2006 09:23:00 PM  
Blogger Nashville Knucklehead said...

Bush has the swagger of a Junior High Gym Teacher.

That's not some veiled rip at his character. I'm really talking about the way he walks. He just needs a whistle and a pair of those black nut-hugger shorts.

1/26/2006 09:27:00 PM  
Blogger Newscoma said...

There is a huge possibility I suck. Then I might not suck. Actually I think I would like to be The suck, although that sounds slightly pornographic.
Everything is relative.
Like coming over to hang out. Thanks for not having me arrested for stalking.

1/26/2006 09:58:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Mack said...

I know I'll never be linked to except by my friends, which is okay, but to say that it isn't flattering is a tad dishonest. Based on what I have read here, it seems the key thing is to be, I dunno, pithy? There are certainly some good writers in Nashville, but I have to say that some seem more concerned with style than substance, and that's a shame. Now, can someone clue me in on this whole, tits thing?

1/27/2006 07:21:00 AM  
Blogger Plimco said...

I'm so late to this conversation of self-consciousness, I feel a little self-conscious saying anything...

I DO suck. Unless you're a Republican, a Christian, or a Yankees fan. Then I'll just give you a hand job.

1/27/2006 08:04:00 AM  
Blogger DMartin said...

hhhmmm Plimco, I got 2 out of 3...what does that get me, a kick in the nuts?


1/27/2006 08:19:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Mack, it's an ongoing joke. When I get nervous, I tend to ramble on about my tits, which is not really a nervous habit one wants to have in most social situations. Now, we just yack about tits in general, whenever it seems most appropriate, or inappropriate.

Plimco! I'm scandalized.

1/27/2006 08:35:00 AM  
Blogger Plimco said...

Oh, come ON, Aunt B! It takes a bit more than THAT to scandalize you.

1/27/2006 08:44:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Yeah, you're right. It's too late now to try to cultivate some reputation as a delicate flower.

1/27/2006 08:54:00 AM  
Blogger Plimco said...

Ha! You would be one of those edible flowers they put on wedding cakes.

1/27/2006 09:06:00 AM  
Blogger Plimco said...

I have no idea what that means.

1/27/2006 09:06:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Mack said...

Aunt B, thanks for letting me in on that.

Now I must say I am hopelessly in love with Plimco....

1/27/2006 09:11:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Plimco, I think it means you think I taste sweet and you want to put me in your mouth.

And who doesn't?

1/27/2006 09:16:00 AM  
Blogger Plimco said...

Mack, I already have a blog boyfriend, but hey. It's open.

1/27/2006 09:50:00 AM  
Blogger Smerdyakov said...

My blog has hemorrhoids bigger than your blog.
Put that on a tshirt

1/27/2006 01:22:00 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I'm honored to be noticed...and I was just going to assume I don't suck.

1/27/2006 05:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

but I have to say that some seem more concerned with style than substance, and that's a shame.

That is complete bullshit. I object. In fact, if I knew who the hell you were, I wouldn't read your blog as a matter principle.


1/28/2006 06:24:00 PM  

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