Thursday, February 23, 2006
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- I'm Done for a Little While
- Two Things
- The Port Thing
- Why I Will Never Be a Libertarian--Reason 3
- Why I Will Never Be a Libertarian--Reason 2
- Why I Will Never Be a Libertarian--Reason 1
- Mrs. Wigglebottom Does Not Have a Head Wound
- Hmm, Will Knucklehead Fight Kleinheider?
- Kleinheider Appeals to My Baser Nature
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
13 Comments:
I'd definitely pre-party with the butcher and show up, but I'm already committed to a wedding party thing for one of my co-workers.
Good luck with it. Break a hymen!
I'd come see you, B, but I'm hours and hours away. Good luck! I mean break a leg!
I'm sorry that I have to add to the litany of: "I can't attend because..."but I'm going to St.Louis to babysit #1 niece this weekend. If we were in town though, she(18mos) and I would both be there. You gotta start that feminist self-awareness early.
I would SO be there if I lived closer! I saw it in NY years ago and howled.
Since it's a fund raiser, they should run it like one of those benefit bike rides or walkathons. People can send you pledges just to do it, even if they can't be in the audience to watch you do it.
Break a whatever's appropriate!
B.,
If I had someone to watch the Boy, I would most definitely be there to support you. Or, well...I would probably be at the Mercy Lounge seeing Leon Russell, but that is beside the point.
Best of luck to you--I know you'll be great. Above all, have fun and be proud.
Ryan
Oh, I wish I could go. :( I'm flat broke, though, and no babysitter, either. I wish this had happened last weekend, I had money AND jim was off. :(
It's all right, y'all. Folks are busy. I know. Mostly I'm just bummed because I wanted someone from my family to be there. Because I am a big baby.
Damn. I wish I still lived in Nashville and then I would come to the Cooter Monologues not only for the "cooter" talk but not enough can be said for a good bra, which is extremely important.
I want to come. Do you think I can handle the graphic vagina descriptions?
Fritz, there's nothing quite as graphic as what I put you through at lunch. There are parts that are really heart-wrenching to sit through and there's a great piece about women's orgasms and one about birth that might make you squirm a little bit.
But there aren't any actual cooters. So, if I had to guess, I would think you'd be very uncomfortable, but glad that you saw it once, so that you'd know what the hubub was about.
I think we might go, if we decide we can afford it..
Aunt b, you know I'd be there. If I didn't live over a 24 hour drive away.
Which monologue are you doing? Are you calling it "rehearsal" yet? Do you need me to teach you any vocal warm ups? Don't forget to masturbate before you perform. Probably at home when you get out of the shower is best...not at the theatre...although. I've done that too...
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