Friday, April 22, 2005

Dog Advice

So, maybe all these stories about what a kick-ass dog Mrs. Wigglebottom is have got you thinking about getting an AmStaff of your own. You've weighed the issues and decided that you want a dog vilified by the general public and capable of leaping all but the tallest backyard fences. You're prepared to spend the first year of its life keeping it from eating all your furniture and looking forward to the day when you will be able to walk around the neighborhood with your dog by your side, not barking and lunging at other dogs and all squirrels. Here's one more thing you should consider: the dog to bathroom size ratio. How big is your bathroom? How big is your dog? What will you do on a day like today when there's thunder and lightning and hard rain and you need to take a shower and get to work but the dog needs more to be on the bath mat, which, unbeknownst to you, has magical protective powers and must not be strayed from in bad weather? If the bath mat with the 60 pound pit bull on it takes up all the room between the toilet and the wall, and the dog looks at you like you're crazy when you try to get her to move, are you prepared to climb up on the toilet and to step onto the wall of the tub? No, you say, you'll just shut the bathroom door and keep her outside. Good luck with that, because the cats have taught her how to stick her paw under the door and pop it open. Thanks, cats.


Blogger Peggasus said...

HA! I am picturing a training session in the bathroom where the cats are showing the dog, saying, "NO, like this! Now try it again."

At times we used to keep our Lab on the small screened in back porch at our old house, and he figured out how to swat at the latch to open it up and let himself outside.

4/22/2005 12:53:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

When I first got my dog, my uncle, who is prone to hysterics anyway, called me up and was like "That dog is going to kill your cats and then kill you in your sleep. And how do you think that's going to make the rest of us feel?"

I love the cats and wish no harm upon them, but I do kind of wish that they didn't get along with the dog so well, especially because they've taught her how to open doors and--especially gross--she eats their hairballs. So, if you hear them hacking one up, it's a race between you and the dog to see who's going to get to it first.

And, you've got to detour by the kitchen to get the paper towels.


Let that be a warning to everyone the dog kisses. I keep her away from the goose poop as best I can, but the hairball eating is a losing battle.

4/22/2005 02:41:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

Our dog and cat were friends too. Bailey (our Springer Spaniel) died last summer at 13 1/2 years old, and Jinx (who's 15 or 16, who can remember?) is a lot more attached to us than she used to be since then. She's probably still wondering, hey, what happened to that other smelly hairy thing that used to live here? Jinx used to SLEEP in between Bailey's front legs.

If Jinx ever gacked up some cat puke, Bailey was right there, too! Food is food.

4/22/2005 05:36:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Oh, poor Jinx!

Our cats don't sleep with the dog when we're home, but I sometimes find long cat hairs on the dog's belly, which leads me to believe they huddle together when we aren't home.

Whenever I read something about how dog's mouths are cleaner than human's, I just can't help but think that the scientists must only be testing lab animals, because otherwise... I mean, my dog eats poop if you don't keep an eye on her! How is that cleaner than Oreos?

4/23/2005 10:38:00 AM  

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