I Cannot Control the Weather!

So, the dog and orange cat woke me up this morning at 7:00, because it was raining. Apparently, it is my job to change the weather. Yes, the animals think I have magic powers. Maybe I do...I can make food appear in their bowls. But even so, I don't think I can change the course of tropical storm remnants. While we were at the park, a jogger stopped to ask us what the dog does. Yes, "Hey, what does your dog do?" I was dumbfounded. How is one supposed to answer that question? Mostly, she sleeps, shits, and eats. Sometimes, the Butcher beats me with her, but that's not something I want to tell strangers, how we're still playing "Why are you hitting yourself?" only it's progressed to "Why are you letting the dog hit you?"