The Truth about the Man from GM

Invariably, someone will ask why the Man from GM and I don't just settle down and get married. Finally, I have a concrete illustration of the main insurmountable thing (there are lots of small insurmountable things, such as the fact that his driving terrifies me and that he goes to the grocery store and grabs what he wants off the shelf without taking the time to see if there's a cheaper version). Here it is: I took him to the park on my Saturday walk which heals my soul and is responsible for reinvigorating me. Soul healing and reinvigorating take some time. And, I tend more to mosey than stride places. And the dog needs to pee on a lot of things. The Man from GM however, is very busy. Even on vacation, he has places to go. I don't know where these places are and why he has to get there so quickly, but off he goes, first a few feet ahead of us, then twenty feet ahead of us, then way off in the distance. Then he turns around to walk backwards, because he can walk backwards as fast as we're walking forwards. And then, when I say, "Here is the stretch of road that fixes all my problems" he says, "This is why I don't like the Smokey Mountains. You can't see anything." Trees. There are trees and birds and soft sunlight and a cool breeze at exactly the same spot, and we aren't even in the mountains! Whatever. He is my dear friend and I'm glad to know him. But when I take you to my most sacred spot, I need you to be able to at least imagine why it means so much to me.