Friday, August 19, 2005
Today, I am a grown up. I sucked it up and went to the bank and explained my credit card issues and got some help. It's not going to be easy, what I'm going to do for the next few years, but it's my gift to myself--the real possibility of complete financial independence. Someday, I will pay all of my bills and look in my account and it will not say $10, but, maybe $50 or $100. That day will not be in the immediate future, but that day will come. What's next, America? Will I finally give writing a shot? Will I ask the Kingmaker out to breakfast? Will I meet someone who can teach me how to dance the Black Bottom? Or will I, so used to scraping what little change I could find together to treat myself to one less than $10 activity a month, somehow fuck this up in order to return to the state of soul-sickened panic I've grown so used to? I suspect the real test of a person is not what they do when the chips are down, but what they do with themselves when they get a chip or two ahead. I hope I don't let myself down.