Sunday, September 04, 2005

Brief Reviews

1. The Grudge. Wow is that a bad movie. It's not just that it's the least scary scary movie ever made (and this is coming from a girl who gets creeped out by her can opener disappearing. If you can't scare me, you can't scare folks.), but also that it doesn't even make sense. If it's the ghosts who are angry and killing folks, then Sarah Michelle Geller's character's witnessing of what happened to them should resolve something. If it's the amorphous grudge that's killing people, why bother to hinge so much on the ghosts of the dead people? But SMG is good. She's pretty much the only reason to watch it. 2. Natural Born Killers. I saw this movie when it came out and didn't get it. I saw it again last night and still didn't get it, but felt like I was getting more of it. I suspect we're just catching up to that movie. I remember such outrage when it came out, but it's a surprisingly non-gory movie. 3. Any R-Kelly video. I'm almost sure I've said this before, but nothing makes me laugh harder than how much older the women in R. Kelly's videos are than in other R&B videos. It's like they're all little commercials for how much he really likes grown folks. Ha. 4. That new Faith Evans song. Holy shit! 5. One thing I haven't told you. It's kind of lame, but the last review reminded me of it. Y'all would be surprised how much time I spend dancing around my house. It's really the only thing that makes doing the dishes bearable. 6. Tim and Faith. Listen, I'm just going to be honest--these two creep me out. I don't know why. It's just that they seem so perfectly happy and pretty and usually when your veneer is that good, your core is rotten. But I stopped in the Belle Meade Walgreens to get some contact solution yesterday as a side trip to find a US Bank ATM that would accept deposits (yes, America, I got to put some money in the bank instead of taking it out) and I missed them just by a few minutes, according to the girl in cosmetics. They'd come in and wiped the place out of toothbrushes and toothpaste and toilet paper and other essentials. Their money would have gone farther at Walmart, but good for them. 6. My descent into wing-nuttiness. Well, it was fun, but then I was reading people arguing that we need to be advocating for the impeachment of George Bush over this whole hurricane thing and I thought 1. "Sweet Jesus, get a grip, folks." and then 2. "Hmm. Maybe I'm over the wing-nut phase." Listen. Impeaching Clinton because he lied about getting a blow job was incredibly stupid. Impeaching Bush because we're obviously grossly incompetent at every level of federal and state government would also be incredibly stupid. And so we will speak of it no more, except to point out how utterly stupid it is. 7. My dog. In general, what's not strong is bony and when she wags her tail, she invariable hits me right in the shins with it. But she has a surprisingly soft muzzle and I love to pet it. Also, she's taken to complaining loudly when I'm not headed to bed at 9:30. I love that dog so much I'd carry her around with me in some kind of backpack contraption if I thought she'd put up with it.

11 Comments:

Blogger frog said...

"Their money would have gone farther at Walmart, but good for them."

Well, yes, but then they'd be supporting Walmart, so there you go.

9/04/2005 11:34:00 AM  
Blogger bridgett said...

At first I thought you meant that Tim had hooked up with Faith Evans...now that *would* be something to hang around Walgreens to see. The most famous widow in rap and Notorious H.A.T.

9/04/2005 12:20:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Ah, yes, I should have said that they bought all that stuff for the hurricane victims.

Though, it would be awesome if Tim McGraw was having an affair with Faith Evans and proving his love for her by buying a thousand toothbrushes...

9/04/2005 07:58:00 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Thanks, Auntee. I had finally put all those questions about The Grudge out of my head, but now they have returned.

9/05/2005 12:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a review I'd like to see...

I was cleaning with the tv on yesterday, and Footloose came on. You know, the one with the rebelious midwestern preacher's daughter?? So I thought 'I should ask Aunt B if that's really what it's like to be a midwest preacher's kid.'

W

9/05/2005 11:29:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

W., my dad's a Methodist minister, so I can't really say. We were always moving around, coming into places and stirring up trouble. You'll have to ask a Baptist preacher's kid.

Though I will say this. I think the soundtrack we had when we were growing up is much better than the Footloose soundtrack. We had CCR and Ray Stevens.

9/05/2005 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

That Shalimar "Dancing In The Sheets" song is not too bad, but "Let's Hear It For the Boy" is damnation.

9/05/2005 01:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, I don't know if you saw it another time but I think that we didn't get Natural Born Killers when we watched it that summer at college because we drank a lot of wine, went and rented the movie and purchased a lot of night train (serve chilled? a little chilling will not improve that stuff) and then attempted to watch the movie. I say attempted because I think halfway through we abandoned the butcher for a walk around the block to "sober up" and then we returned so you could pass out on your living room couch and I could pass out on the nasty skanky mattress on your porch. I just wanted to share this sophisticated episode in our lives.

-SuperGenius

9/06/2005 08:03:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Ah, yes, the infamous Night Train episode. You know you're drunk when you think that tastes good.

9/06/2005 08:16:00 AM  
Blogger Michael Hickerson said...

Now I'd watch sarah Michelle Gellar read the Yellow Pages and even I have to say the Grudge was crap. And this is from the man who rented and watched that movie where she was a chef....

ugh....

That's four hours of my life she owes me back!

9/06/2005 11:08:00 AM  
Blogger harvestbird said...

"I love that dog so much I'd carry her around with me in some kind of backpack contraption if I thought she'd put up with it."

Amen to that, say I, for my dogs, for which I would like a frontpack as well as backpack convention. Perhaps you could design 'em and monogram 'em Tiny Cat Pants style? That'd confuse the public!

9/06/2005 11:44:00 PM  

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