Thursday, September 01, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Thoughtful Introspection and BlogDay 2005
- Hurry Up and Blame the Victims!
- You Clean; I'll Fix the Toilet
- Warning, Cheap Shot
- This Morning
- "If it's a whirling beat, she'll dance to it"
- Context for the Rest of You
- First the Chicago Tribune, then the New York Times
- Some Folks are Born Made to Wave the Flag
- Hermaphrodite Porn
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
7 Comments:
Okay, if you find out what it is ... tell me ... I have the same annoying "thing." I love smelling body odor on myself as I'm toweling off from the shower. For me, it's a change in shampoo -- I'm "allergic" to some brands and flavors. Have you changed shampoo or a hair product in the past two weeks?
Why would anyone be disappointed if a Frances Bavier-lookalike showed up at a party in a Tiny Cat Pants shirt? I'd be thrilled and would buy her lots of drinks. (I always secretly suspected Aunt Bee of enjoying the occasional bourbon and branch when Ope and Ange were off fishin'.)
Besides, Eva Longoria lookalikes don't ever carry purses big enough to hold your stuff for you while you go pee. Nor do they ever have pockets on what they wear to hold said stuff.
Love your words, ma'am. Give the cats and Miss W. our best.
grande in The Boro
You just made me snort when I clicked on the Aunt B(ee) picture.
I didn't even see that one coming.
You mean to say that you're not hispanic?
No, I mean to say that I'm not on a current television show...
P.S. -- Is it a body funque, or could it be something in the carpeting (mildew from a leak) or a garbage can not fully emptied? I have those scares sometimes and then I realize it's the water standing in the plant saucer.
Well, okay, it's not ALWAYS the plant water.
grande in the Boro
Hell, I doubt if Eva Longoria even looked like that before visiting Dr. 90210 or some such. Aunt Bee was one class act. I'd rather look like her when I'm old than like artificially enhanced females such as Melanie Griffith are going to look like when THEY'RE old. And will Pamela Anderson be able to walk at all when gravity wins out and those things are slapping against her knees?
Nuff said.
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