Friday, October 21, 2005

The Good, The Bad, The Weird

The Good: Two liters of vodka, half paid for by the Butcher. The Bad: Listening to the guy at the liquor store go on about the giant government conspiracy to take pictures of our eyeballs and sell them to the credit card companies. The Weird: The hobo who is standing outside our door begging us for gallons of water. The Butcher is humoring him. I'm sitting here trying to look busy and slightly crazy. The dog is barking at him. Hopefully that's as weird as it gets.


Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Did the hobo claim to have eaten a lot of mushrooms the night before?

10/21/2005 06:10:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

No, he claims his truck won't start. We don't see a truck. But whatever. If a man needs two gallons of water in the course of a minute, who am I to question why?

10/21/2005 06:12:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Hey, what the fuck are you doing here at six on a Friday night? Don't you have bands to see, coke-fiends to flirt with?

Surely, you must have something better to do than read the rantings of a girl in the midst of a little remedial Russian culture.

10/21/2005 06:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

I don't feel good. One of the coke fiend models worked her spell on me through the art of suggestion. She said she was tired and might go home and take a nap when we were at the bar together around 4:30. Suddenly, I started feeling tired and wanted to take a nap. The power that this chick wields is insidious and wrong. Luckily she has the personality of a bag of nickels, so she won't be taking over the world anytime soon. But it worked on me. Plus, she said she had a MySpace profile that I thought I'd check out on my way to get some dinner, then go home.

10/21/2005 06:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pictures of our eyeballs?? Shouldn't that be the good, the weird, and the weird?


10/21/2005 06:39:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

MySpace? Well, I see you like them very young. Let me know if you need soup; I owe you. Well, not tonight, as I'm already in no real shape to drive, but you know. Or if you want to drink vodka and watch the hobos, you know the way.

W., no, it was definitely bad. I don't know why, but all the clerks in that store are freaks. The Butcher and I are convinced that it's some kind of contest to see who can cause the customer to have the most obvious 'what the fuck?' face.

10/21/2005 06:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

I thought we established the whole "Sarcastro's Home For Wayward Girls" thing long ago. That MySpace thing is a disaster. I weep for the future.

Brewhouse West has Blue Crab Bisque as the Soup o' the Day. I'm on my way there for another adult beverage and soup.

10/21/2005 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger HUCK said...

Let me know if you need soup; I owe you.

Aha! I knew it! There is a soft squishy center under that hard candy shell.

Ooooo, I'm so tellin Ms. Rand...

'Virtue of Selfishness', my ass.

10/21/2005 09:03:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

I know, Huck, I know. It's unbelievable. All hard-ass and mean as hell and then he does something incredibly kind like reminding you that the dude who hurt your feelings so bad that very morning is the same old man fishing from the same pond as your baby brother.

It's kind of disconcerting, but I appreciate it.

10/21/2005 09:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

You have to admit the "Titanic and wine coolers" line was funny. I stole it from Scrubs, where it was "Bartles & Jaymes and About Last Night".

10/22/2005 12:06:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Oh, no, I thought that was hilarious. It was more the "only if you were the last woman on earth would any man who wasn't a freak want you" motif to the whole comment that rattled me.

10/22/2005 02:29:00 PM  

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