Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Veterans Who Have Touched My Boobs Without Asking

World War I--I was young and helping get him from his wheelchair into his car. Seemed unintentional, but maybe appearing ancient, confused, and off-balance is a good way to cop a feel. World War II--None that I can think of. Not even any actors in awesome World War II movies. Calling them "the Greatest Generation" might be hype, but judging from personal experience, we might call them the generation with the most restraint. Korean War--Walking down the hall at church, as a Korean War veteran put his arm around me, told me how much he liked me, and reached right over and gave me a squeeze. I backed away alarmed and then he started crying, telling me how much he loved his wife and didn't deserve her. I agreed. Vietnam War--Just the drunken full-body mush. Maybe we shouldn't have had our Junior Prom at the VFW hall. That might have cut down on that. Gulf War--Standing in my parents' driveway. He leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back. He pulled his head away, gave me a weird smile, said "I didn't know you were that kind of girl" and came at me like some kind of Frankenstein's monster. At the time, I was like "What the hell, dude?" but what did I know about being a 20 year old boy? Christ, it's not until you're a thirty year old woman that you get what those twenty year old boys are going through, as La Professora regularly reminds her students.

9 Comments:

Blogger Aunt B said...

America, if you don't find this the funniest damn post of the week, I just don't even know how to talk to you any more.

10/18/2005 11:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Yes, but how many veterans have refused to touch your boobs, despite your pleading them to?

10/18/2005 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Just you, sweetie, just you.

10/18/2005 12:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

So that would make me a World War II, vet. Damn, I look good for my age.

10/18/2005 12:54:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

You're not George C. Scott, but you have your own charm.

10/18/2005 01:09:00 PM  
Blogger Paul Chenoweth said...

Geez, Aunt B. there are those of us from the War on Poverty that would at least beg! *grin* (self-thwap)

10/18/2005 03:24:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

I'm thinking that if you knew a WWI vet
you probably didn't even have boobs yet.

And I would have let steve McQueen touch mine with or without asking.

10/18/2005 04:23:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Peg, I'm totally touching mine just thinking of Steve McQueen...

10/18/2005 04:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know it's a problem when it starts showing up in US Army recruiting literature.

W

10/19/2005 07:36:00 AM  

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