Tuesday, October 18, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Veterans Who Have Touched My Boobs Without Asking
- Goals
- Stupidity and Awe
- Some Things Throw Off Your Whole Day
- Whoring It Up, Old School
- Drinking with the Butcher
- Our Triumphant Return to the Park
- Further Scary Stories for Halloween
- Thankful Haiku
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
8 Comments:
Oh Lord. Bad Idea. Do not get me started on Madonna, her sacreligious "religion" that perverts a teaching thousands of years old, and her phony-ass British accent. And her stupid, poorly-written children's books.
I have had it up to my eyeballs with her and her sanctimonious behaviour.
And yet, there I was....all sanctimonious about her religion. funny.
Oh well. Sorry for that, anyway.
Some generations get T.S. Eliot pretending to be British when he's from the midwest.
Sadly, we get Madonna. She's got all of Eliot's sanctimony and faux-accent without any of his talent.
I love the idea of a Madonna/Tom Cruise death match. That would be awesome.
Huck, seriously, don't be coming over here offering up apologies with no good excuses. Be drunk or on drugs or typing while masturbating or something. Good lord.
No, you can apologize, you just have to be participating in some totally work-inappropriate activity while doing it.
There's a band called "Jump"? Is this the same band as Jump Little Children?
"Running and making bread." I don't know why, but that makes me want to kick him in the shin.
There's just something about a thrity-five year old man pretending to be british and making bread that infuriates me.
Oh, leave Madonna alone! From what I gather, that one book of hers featured a rich, beautiful, misunderstood English girl. What would she know about that, though?
But beautiful, rich girls need love, too, damn it!
I'm just looking forward to the fireworks when her lovely little daughter Lola turns 14 or 15 and starts pulling some of the crap Mumsy did. There was an AP brief in our paper Monday that had her boasting about never letting her children watch TV or read magazines. And making them wear the same clothes to school every day until they pick up their rooms.
Yeaaaah, that'll work.
Once a posturing publicity-mad ninny, always a posturing publicity-mad ninny.
~grandefille~
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