Thursday, December 01, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- The Polka
- Mrs. Wigglebottom and the Case of the Missing Pizza
- "Of the people, by the people, for the people"
- Scattered Things
- Hot Apple Cider
- Just What Kind of Feminist Are You?
- A Crossroads Like No Other
- The Bay Area Is Not Talking
- The International Harvester Dude
- The Butcher is an Idiot
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
8 Comments:
Definitely go with the fish slap; it works every time.
Besides, finding his mother and seducing her would take too long.
Yeah, and I'm perpetually short on funds. Buying a cod or some nice smoked salmon is going to be a lot easier than flowers and dinner and concert tickets and all that jazz.
Now that I've read what RogAb said, you are totally blowing this out of all proportion.
Well, thank god you're around to set me straight, then. I'd hate to think that I was misinterpreting his need to yet again let me know he thinks I suck--"I derive no real insights from your stuff"--as hostility. Clearly, you're right. I'll stop antagonizing him by responding to him in the outragious ways I have both at Kleinheider's and Coble's.
You are taking that quote out of context. Even if you weren't does it bother you that someone MAY not care for every piece of navel lint you post online?
If anyone gains insight from my barely literate shenanigans, I'm doing something wrong.
I don't give a shit if he doesn't like what I write. I give a shit that he seems to take such glee out of making sure that I know it. That's what pisses me off.
Yes, it makes me a hypocrite, but there you go.
Well, I think we've made some real progress today. Unfortunately, our time is about up.
Fine, just add the therapy session to the rest of my bill.
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