Saturday, March 11, 2006

Gentlemen

Please, don't read too much into this. I know it's a widely-held belief--propagated by porn--that removing all one's hair makes one look bigger. I have tried very hard to get used to this. But, boys, it's now my studied opinion that y'all hairless are about the funniest looking things ever. So, here's the request: if you're going to take your pants off around me, and you have groomed yourself bare, please don't be pissed if I struggle not to laugh. Lord knows I'm not going to turn you down. I'm just saying, you don't really need to go to that effort for me.

7 Comments:

Blogger TVonthefritz said...

Nothing's funnier than some shaved balls. I think that should be your new motto. Instead of nothing's funnier than Tiny Cat Pants, you should try "nothing's funnier than shaved ballsack."

3/11/2006 05:33:00 PM  
Blogger bridgett said...

The only way that hairless frontage gets funnier is if you throw in a pair of Groucho Marx glasses...

But hell, if you can't have a good laugh when you're naked, you're getting naked with the wrong folks.

3/11/2006 05:36:00 PM  
Blogger Exador said...

My view on nether-region shaving is purely practical; shave anything you want licked. That goes for men and women.

Nobody likes getting a bunch of hair in their mouth.

3/11/2006 06:50:00 PM  
Blogger cafiend said...

My view on nether-region shaving is purely practical; shave anything you want licked. That goes for men and women.

Nobody likes getting a bunch of hair in their mouth.


Maybe I've encountered particularly razor-challenged women, but none of them have managed to remove all the hair from every last recess and fold. Nor would I expect such perfection, unless there's a secret shortcut they could learn. I certainly can't teach it to them, not possessing a cooter on which to practice. So there's gonna be hair in some quantity, and even worse, stubble. That puts the whisker burn on the other cheek, now don't it?

Just trim it down a little in the working area so I don't have to chew my way through a forest before getting down to work.

As for my own equipment, if I made it look bigger I'd scare women away. I'd rather have the beast lurk in the jungle, only coming out to strike. :-)

3/11/2006 07:07:00 PM  
Anonymous "O" said...

I can't believe you have a problem with grown men having as much body hair as they did when they, to use your word, came out of their mother's cooter. I think someone should set up a manscaping advocacy group. We can call it Brothers for the Advocacy of the use of Razors on the Epidermis, or BARE. I welcome anyone else to think of a better acronym as I am tired. Keep up the good work Aunt B.

3/12/2006 12:17:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

"O"--Okay, I love the acronym, but I wonder how wise it is to choose an acronym that is a homonym for the word describing big old hairy gay men? It seems like it might bring some unnecessary conflict between the two groups.

Cafiend--You crack me up.

Boy Scout--Is that so? Then I am sadder than ever that I'm not going to see you streaking through my neighborhood.

3/12/2006 08:49:00 AM  
Blogger Chrissykins said...

Aunt B, A well groomed man is a GREAT thing. If I find myself wandering around in his nether fur, I'm seriously hoping that it's groomed. As with a beard, some fur is nice......lots is nasty. I keep myself cropped, for my own reasons, but only "abajo".

3/13/2006 06:57:00 PM  

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