Saturday, March 11, 2006
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Republicans, Here, Let Me Help
- The Best
- Y'all! I think Nathan Moore is flirting with me!
- Ain't You Handsome When You're High?
- The Kiss on the Forehead Revisited
- An Interesting Note on the Fabulous Bra
- Our bodies are the only true homes we will ever know
- A Mushy Post About That Old Man
- And Then There Were Nine
- The Fed-Ex Man Makes a Crucial Error in Judgment
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
7 Comments:
Nothing's funnier than some shaved balls. I think that should be your new motto. Instead of nothing's funnier than Tiny Cat Pants, you should try "nothing's funnier than shaved ballsack."
The only way that hairless frontage gets funnier is if you throw in a pair of Groucho Marx glasses...
But hell, if you can't have a good laugh when you're naked, you're getting naked with the wrong folks.
My view on nether-region shaving is purely practical; shave anything you want licked. That goes for men and women.
Nobody likes getting a bunch of hair in their mouth.
My view on nether-region shaving is purely practical; shave anything you want licked. That goes for men and women.
Nobody likes getting a bunch of hair in their mouth.
Maybe I've encountered particularly razor-challenged women, but none of them have managed to remove all the hair from every last recess and fold. Nor would I expect such perfection, unless there's a secret shortcut they could learn. I certainly can't teach it to them, not possessing a cooter on which to practice. So there's gonna be hair in some quantity, and even worse, stubble. That puts the whisker burn on the other cheek, now don't it?
Just trim it down a little in the working area so I don't have to chew my way through a forest before getting down to work.
As for my own equipment, if I made it look bigger I'd scare women away. I'd rather have the beast lurk in the jungle, only coming out to strike. :-)
I can't believe you have a problem with grown men having as much body hair as they did when they, to use your word, came out of their mother's cooter. I think someone should set up a manscaping advocacy group. We can call it Brothers for the Advocacy of the use of Razors on the Epidermis, or BARE. I welcome anyone else to think of a better acronym as I am tired. Keep up the good work Aunt B.
"O"--Okay, I love the acronym, but I wonder how wise it is to choose an acronym that is a homonym for the word describing big old hairy gay men? It seems like it might bring some unnecessary conflict between the two groups.
Cafiend--You crack me up.
Boy Scout--Is that so? Then I am sadder than ever that I'm not going to see you streaking through my neighborhood.
Aunt B, A well groomed man is a GREAT thing. If I find myself wandering around in his nether fur, I'm seriously hoping that it's groomed. As with a beard, some fur is nice......lots is nasty. I keep myself cropped, for my own reasons, but only "abajo".
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