A New Couch?

My dad has tentatively agreed to buy us a new couch. This is not surprising when one considers that he has loathed our couch ever since one of the feathers came out of the arm and poked him and now that we also hate the couch because someone peed on it, his hatred has been justified and renewed. Still, it means that if I don't want to spend fourteen hours wandering around Walmart while my parents insist that it must sell couches some place, if only we find the right department, I better get out and find were in town one can buy an inexpensive couch. So, I took the Professor with me and, wow, did we find the best couch ever! It's a beautiful, tacky brothel-red monstrosity that I am madly in love with. If I owned this couch, I could get laid, regularly. People would come over, see me on my couch, and be compelled to make mad, passionate love to me. Others would see me sitting on this couch and believe that I could tell their fortunes. Others still would be busy running their hands over the sumptuous pillows. I love this couch. Still, I doubt that I'm going to get that couch as it is more expensive than every other couch we looked at... still, it makes me happy to know a couch like that exists in the world. After I dropped the Professor off back at home, I went to the store to pick up some pop and a treat for Mrs. Wigglebottom and I saw the Professor's invisible friend. It was pretty funny, because I never see her invisible friend in any other context except when I'm with her. And, so he's never seen me outside of a Professorial context, and so we stood there in the aisle a second looking at each other like "Do I know you?" and then being delighted to discover that we did. This was the highlight of my weekend--discovering that the Professor's imaginary friend exists outside of late-night drunken parties. The majority of the weekend I spent with my cousin and his girlfriend. It was very nice to see them and Mrs. Wigglebottom loves the girlfriend like they were in the same litter, but I was definitely confronted with my own nerdiness. I had no idea what to do with them. The Butcher is cool and can always come up with stuff to do, but I rarely leave the house, so what do I know about fun? Pretty much I just drove them around and hoped they would have fun on their own. But, I'm sure when I get my new couch, I'll become exciting and then, when relatives come to visit, I'll entertain them effortlessly.