Monday, December 13, 2004

The Kind of Thing that Goes Terribly Wrong with Chili

So, on Friday, I invited the Professor over for chili. The Butcher was supposed to go grocery shopping for the much-needed ingredients, but he forgot the list. We decided that was fine, he'd just go after work and we'd have a very late supper. This is also fine. Though I usually go to bed at 9:30, I figured that I could stay up late one evening and eat at 9:30 instead. The only unfortunate side-effect to preparing food when you're usually preparing for bed is that you might not be thinking too clearly. For instance, you might chop up a jalapeno pepper to put in your chili. You might just give a cursory rinse off to your hands. You might then, hours later, itch your eye. Yes, that's right. You might be stupid enough to stick your finger in your eye. If you've never been that stupid, I don't know if words can express how much it hurts. If you have been that stupid, stop reading now, because I'm going to try to describe it and I want to spare you the agony of remembering it. Imagine you get soap in your eye. Then imagine that your eye starts to tear up and you think "Ah, well, this sucks, but the tears will wash the soap out of my eye." But instead, the tear makes the soap in your eye intensify and spread around your eyeball and then leak out onto the soft tissue of your eye and then it's not soap at all, but gasoline and it's on fire. Your eye is on fire. That's what it feels like. Having your eye catch fire and then dragged through rusty barbed wire. But, it was pretty good chili.


Blogger The Corporate Shill said...

I understand your pain completely! Back in the day, when I (to paraphrase Mike Myers in Wayne's World II) was "slinging chow at Great America," I was preparing a giant batch of nacho cheese. Anyhow, we had these HUGE industrial-size cans of jalapeno peppers and we would open them up, drain the juice into the melted cheese and then give it a stir. Gave the bland cheese sauce a little kick. Anyhow, jalapeno juice got on the edge of the tongs used to sprinkle peppers on the nacho orders and after preparing a few, I brushed my hand across my face and barely brushed my eye. The entire area around my eye promptly turned red and my eye hurt so bad that I starting crying which only intensified the pain. I ended up with a patch over my eye, to help keep it shut for the next 24 hours.

I'm glad you got good chili out of it. Good chili is one of the great comfort foods. It's not supposed get above 28 today -- and I'm thinking that a bowl of chili would hit the spot.

12/13/2004 09:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From now on I will think of the Corporate Shill as a pirate. You should break out the eye patch for festive times.


12/13/2004 11:44:00 AM  
Blogger Sheik said...

I had a similar episode with a habanero and my nose once. I know how you feel.

Saying your eye was on fire is pretty accurate. The part of the pepper that makes it "hot" fits into a receptor on your taste buds, and appearantly your eyes and nose, in exactly the same way as fire. In a physiological sense, your body can't tell the difference between hot peppers and actual flames.

12/17/2004 10:41:00 PM  

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