Things that I Didn't Do at Dinner with the Libertarian Elite

So, I went to dinner with the Libertarian Elite. As usual, I was nervous as hell. Right here is why I could never get a small dog, because, though I appear all calm, cool, and collected, internally, I'm yapping and shaking and pissing on the floor. There can't be two of us. As you know, the chances of me doing something utterly stupid and off-putting are very high when I'm that nervous. Some of you even made suggestions for stupid and off-putting things I could do. So, here are the top ten things I thought I might do or you thought I should do, which I did not. 1. I didn't ask "Women Libertarians? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?" as the Butcher thought I should. 2. I didn't ask "Are there Libertarians outside of Chicago?" as the Professor's cute guy thought I should. 3. I didn't get there thirty minutes early and sit in my car and read a book, so that I could both be sure I was there and not sit in the restaurant by myself. 4. I flashed no one--not even the waiter. 5. I showed no one my cute boob freckle. I know! I'm always whipping that puppy out when I get nervous like "Yeah, I'm a total nerdy dork, but look at this and love it. How bad can I be with a cute boob freckle like this?" (Though I did wear a shirt in which I could do that, if it came to that.) 6. I didn't kick anyone's ass. 7. I did not wait until the most unlikely moment to stand up at the table, throw down my napkin, and say "I can't share a table with anyone who doesn't like II better than Physical Graffiti." 8. I did not let the Professor's cute boy sit at a nearby table. Nor did I let him come over about halfway through, say something very suggestive, and escape with me. 9. I didn't order the most spicy thing on the menu. 10. No Libertarian orgy... though I'm not sure how that would work anyway, since they're all about everyone taking care of themselves first. Can Libertarians have orgies? Or does everyone just sit around and masturbate while contemplating all the people living off the Taxpayers' Teat? Anyway, I had a very nice time and I think they had a nice time and no one got mad and there weren't any fights, since we had a lot of common ground, as their quiz suggested we might.