Monday, October 24, 2005
1. The Man from GM tells me that his philosophy is "Swing at Everything." I'm pretty sure that, if allowed to count myself, I'm as lucky with the ladies as the Man from GM is, but I appreciate his optimism. Those of you who've had to fish his hands out of your pants may not be so appreciative of said optimism. 2. The Man from GM also complains that the girls he gets with are all in bad shape, because, after a while, they start gasping for breath. I laughed and teased him mercilessly and he got mad and said it was a real problem. I'm still 51% sure he knows that's not really a problem. Okay 43% sure. 3. The Butcher is concerned that I might be becoming an alcoholic again. Oh, Citizens of Earth, the funny is on so many levels. Let's count them. One, the Butcher is worried about my consumption of mood altering chemicals?! Two, in the past month, not counting the tequila, I've had five drinks--one at my cousin's wedding and four Friday night. I've been drunk once, counting the tequila. And, as the Professor can attest, that's a pretty heavy month for me. Three, again?! I suspect the overblown stories of my college exploits have given him a false impression of how I really spent my time. 4. Though I should probably not admit this so soon after making fun of the Man from GM, I think I'm missing a little basic anatomy knowledge. Okay this is Laffy Taffy. No part of my body looks like this. And maybe I'm taking things too literally, but because I have nothing that looks like this, I cannot figure out what the hell D4L wants me to shake.