Monday, January 09, 2006
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Shug
- But I want to be the most brilliant person in the ...
- Ain't Nobody's Hero, But I Want to Be Heard
- Bratty Mrs. Wigglebottom
- If Both Dewayne and Sharon ask you to do something...
- Dinner with a Perfect Stranger
- A Man's Right to Choose
- One Bright Spot in this Cold
- Everyone is Sick
- Members of Our Armed Services, I Have a Proposal F...
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
9 Comments:
Is the elbow a particularly painful place to be kicked? Or do you just like to show off how high you can kick?
W
Since I wasn't personally threatened, allow me to be the one to say that I'm delighted to see B. joining our free-thinking ranks.
I just thought that the elbow would be specific enough that he'd know I wasn't kidding.
Oh, Coble!!! I shake my fist at you.
Aunt B is all talk. I offered to let her hit me as hard as she could without reprisal, and she chickened out.
So, mock her with impunity.
The password (my hand to god on this one)is: kuynt.
I honestly can't picture Aunt B getting violent with anyone. Maybe I could picture her seething in impotent rage, but striking someone? Nope, just can't see it.
Oh yeah.
All together now:
Aunt B, I see you are finally turning into a Libertarian.
Ohh, that felt good.
The problem with being a "big-government liberal" is that the big government is not now, nor has ever been, 'liberal.' Now, big-government fascists and totalitarians have always had it in spades.
Can I be your super, duper Jackie Chan back up and if you don't kick high enough to hit the elbow, hit them with a whacking stick. I'm from West Tennessee and we have those here.
Please, please.
I don't think Declan McCullagh is interpreting the law correctly: http://www.nyu.edu/classes/siva/archives/002638.html
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