Now is Not the Time to Pluck Out Your Butt Hair

Aside from being the three funniest words in the English language, Tiny Cat Pants are also a necessary item for the tiny cat, who, every winter, seems compelled to pull out all her butt hair. It's cold out, woman, and you are a furry cat. These things go together--cold weather and an abundance of fur--why is now the time when you decide to go for the hairless look? Yes, the vet and I have discussed it and no, there doesn't appear to be any physical cause. Clearly, the problem is that, when it's cold, you stay in the house and get a little crazy. I can sympathize. I also go crazy when cooped up in the house. But why not take out your craziness on the Butcher like I do? The other day, I saw you sitting in his doorway, staring at him. Think of how much more effective it would be if you sat right next to his face and stared at him. I'm just saying, a little more creative craziness would keep you happier and less likely to pull out your butt hair. And, also, the weather is marvelous right now. Go out and enjoy the warm days for as long as they last.