Hey, Dad, I'm Going to Be a Star!

I called up my dad to tell him my exciting news. For the first time in my life, he was speechless. After a long silence, he spoke. "The what?" "The Vagina Monologues." "What?" "You know, it's..." "What do you know about vaginas?" "I have a vagina, Dad." "Now, the recalcitrant brother. He knows his way around a vagina. Nashville wants to know about vaginas, they should ask your brother to come speak." "It's not pornography." "Is this one of those 'Those who can--do and those who can't--teach' things?" "No, it's a theater thing." "You're going to get on stage and talk about your vagina?" "I already get on the internet and talk about my vagina." "That's pretty stupid, B." "Folks seem to like it." "Have you told your mom?" "I left her a message." "Well, that's probably her right now on the other line calling to ask me where we went wrong." "Probably."