Jack Daniel's is Not My Friend
That is all.
Now that I can stand up without wanting to die, I need to get into the shower.
posted by Aunt B at 2/25/2006 04:15:00 PM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Yes, I've Been Drinking, So, Yes, It's a Mushy Post
- Sorry About That
- The Mickey Mouse Paper
- So, a little while? Six hours
- Silver Linings
- Both Funny Ha Ha and Funny Ouch
- I'm Done for a Little While
- Two Things
Exador
cafiend
Peggasus
Newscoma
Nashville Knucklehead
Rachel
W
saraclark
Aunt B
W
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Lee
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Kat Coble
Jamie
Nervous
Titusina Andronica
DMartin
Aunt B
Peggasus
Sam Holloway
Yankee, Transferred
Lee
Lee
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cafiend
Newscoma
observer
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Aunt B
Wendy
Aunt B
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Aunt B
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Aunt B
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Aunt B
cafiend
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mary bishop
Aunt B
chez bez
Wendy
theogeo
saraclark
Yankee, Transferred
cafiend
Ryan
Titusina Andronica
Aunt B
Newscoma
T.V. Fritz
Aunt B
Plimco
Exador
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Lisa
W
Lisa
cafiend
melusina
W
melusina
DMartin
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W
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Peggasus
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Nashville Knucklehead
cafiend
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
8 Comments:
Lightweight.
Whoah. Don't you have your performance tonight, Missy? Shouldn't you be doing vocal warm ups and getting into character? Don't forget to masturbate.
My favorite acting professor in college used to say, "Don't fall off the stage." Sometimes she'd say "sparkle" too. Like a command.
Break a leg.
PS. If your performance was last night and the Jack was from the cast party then please disregard the preceeding lines of this comment.
Jack Daniels is nobody's friend, no matter how many awesome things he whispers to you at 3 am.
Well, did you have fun with your buddy Jack?
This might be about the time you realise that coca cola is in fact not a multinational death drink, but your very dear friend.
We like to call it "the black aspirin" here.
Jack's my friend. We get along very well.
OH, dear, B, I could have told you from firsthand experience that Jack is kind to no-one.
You are all spreading malicious rumors.
Jack loves you all. He IS your friend, and he will be there when you need him. He won't leave you until you're done with him. And when you need him again, he's close-by, and will be there at the drop of a hat.
Sure, he won't drive you to the airport, or wake you up for your meeting in the morning, or make you breakfast. Damn, he probably laughs his ass off at you when you are so drunk you can't stand, and you start claiming you can cure world hunger. But you know what... he'll be there for you when you need him the most. And he won't be asking "What's in it for me?".
I raise my glass to you, Jack. Thanks for being there, and I'll see you this weekend my friend.
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