Sunday, February 26, 2006

Puke-Associated Things I Cleaned Today

1. The sink. 2. The front of the sink. 3. The floor in front of the sink. 4. My pajamas. 5. The shower curtain. 6. The glass of water I meant to drink, but instead dumped all over me and the bed when I passed out fell asleep Friday night. 7. The dog. In all fairness, she was not puke-associated, but since I was cleaning the tub anyway, she did have some previous ketchup stains I wanted to get after. 8. A shot glass. Also, I should say that many of these things were already cleaned once by the Butcher yesterday (Thanks, Butcher), but you know how sometimes you're just convinced you can still smell it? I was convinced I could still smell it. But I bleached the shit out of everything, so nothing organic can possibly have survived. Cleaning the shot glass, though, alerted me to another problem. I now have half a bottle of Gentleman Jack that cannot possibly be opened in our house without causing me to gag. I thought about having a contest and the winner would get the rest of the whiskey. But then I thought about how I probably should just give it to the man who had to "enjoy" the first half of the bottle as it ran around his house making an ass of itself Friday night. And so, that is what I shall do, as soon as I can bring myself to look at it again.

7 Comments:

Blogger newscoma said...

Lord A-Mercy. You had a rotten day. I went through this on the day of my fortieth birthday, when my buds took me out for "40th Birthday Eve."
Poor thing. I feel your pain.

2/26/2006 06:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

I'd tell you to cough up the Jack, but clearly you already have.

2/27/2006 09:19:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

It's yours. I'm rounding up everything in my house that belongs to you and that's going in the bag with the rest of the stuff.

2/27/2006 09:48:00 AM  
Blogger saraclark said...

I have that relationship with Jagermeister.Fuzzy memories, broken glass and a considerable amount of mess around our college apartment. I learned not to drink anything that you don't want to smell the next day. Jack is the worst ever to smell during your cold sweats the next morning. Vodka is your friend.

2/27/2006 10:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

B, I wish I could return the favor that you and others did for me years ago when I had the same problem with tequila. Why, oh why do we do these things to ourselves??

Love,
Miss J

2/27/2006 02:21:00 PM  
Blogger HUCK said...

Absinthe. I bought some of the "new and improved" absinthe shit about a month ago.

I don't want to talk about it.

2/27/2006 03:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooo, absinthe. My sister Plimco once spent the night at the house Aunt B and I lived in when we weren't there for some reason I forget. She and her then boy friend (the one who had the wreck that made the hole in his butt that we all discussed a week or two ago) drank some homemade absinthe that night and managed to destroy our patio furniture and other sundry household objects. I'm glad I missed out on that.

Miss J

2/27/2006 09:17:00 PM  

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