Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Both Fritz and Rachel are reporting on this legislation which would require women to notify the man by whom she is pregnant before she has an abortion. Yes, apparently Tennessee sperm is so powerful that it can penetrate doctor-patient privilege and render privacy rights non-existent. So powerful that its mere presence at one time in a woman's reproductive system obliges that woman to report in to that man about her medical activities. Shoot, why stop there? Let's just legislate that everything the sperm of Tennessee touches becomes the purview of the man from whom the sperm originates. We'll just be calling men up left and right "Dr. Frist, I'm about to go get my teeth cleaned. Just thought you should know.*" "Oh, shoot, I just started my period. Do you want to come over here and root through the garbage to make sure that one of your fertilized eggs didn't fail to properly attach to my uterine wall? Just in case, I've got the tiny casket ready." "I'm about to wash these sheets. Is that okay with you?" "Howdy frat boy. I saw you fucking that girl last night on my lawn. I appreciate that you practice safe sex, but you left your used condom in the grass and the lawn needs mowing and..." *I'm inferring only for the sake of humor that I regularly perform oral sex on our Senator. I actually do not do this, as it is against my religion to blow humorless busy-bodies.