Nefarious Pets

Monday night, it was cold, but I thought that, if all the pets slept with me, it would be toasty warm and sleepable. This seemed like an especially good plan because the Butcher was at the football game and so I'd be going to bed before he even got home. (This reminds me that a guy on my floor told me that the band Three Dog Night got its name from nights so cold you needed three dogs in bed with you to keep warm. I don't know if this is true, but I really hope so.) But, of course, the pets all finked out on me and went to sleep with the Butcher. Well, last night was even colder, and even though the Butcher was out watching the extended version of "Return of the King," I wasn't counting on the pets for anything. I got out the electric blanket. So, layered on my bed was me, a sheet, the electric blanket, a light blanket, and my comforter. The pets were nowhere to be found; presumably, they were in the Butcher's bed. At some point in the night, I woke up to go to the bathroom and I realized that I no longer had the electric blanket over me. I looked to my right and there it was, nestled under the dog and the two cats, who were sleeping soundly. I didn't have the heart to move them, because I'm sure it took an unprecedented amount of inter-species cooperation to steal the electric blanket, but I did turn it off on them.