Monday, December 13, 2004
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- The Kind of Thing that Goes Terribly Wrong with Chili
- The Butcher
- Sad Songs
- Things the Nashville Tourism Board Won't Tell You
- The Day of Hobbits
- The Sheriff around these here parts
- The Rising Star Fife and Drum Band
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
3 Comments:
Oh, I talk to the Man from GM at least once a week. I have since before he started working at GM, back when he was just the First Chair Trombone Player and I was his arch-nemesis, who made him very angry because I would always throw the try-outs so that he would remain first chair trombone player--not because he was necessarily better than me, but because I did not want to have to tune the tympany.
Ha! No, GM should be so lucky as to have me calling them up just to ask their opinions on matters. If that were happening, I could then give them my opinion on their car commercials, which have, of late, sucked, and we could become best friends, GM and I, and we'd go on vacation to Germany and GM would take me on the Autobahn and I'd regail it with the stuff I learned about that roadway on the National Geographic Channel yesterday and GM would make an inexpensive car that wasn't a piece of shit and I'd buy it, or, better yet, it would come up with an old Caprice Classic it was keeping in a garage somewhere and I'd have Xzibit pimp it out, and we'd both (GM and I, though Xzibit should as well, of course) live happily ever after.
But until then, I'll stick with Dodge.
I'm sure they'll be making sparks an option very soon on that show Pimp My Ride.
Just make mine reliable,
SuperGenius
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