My Proudest Moment
I'd just like to take a moment to thank Brittney over at Nashville is Talking for providing me with one of the highlights of my blogging career. Check this out and note the civil discourse. Then, check this:
Is "fuck" really so offensive? Or is it offensive because such a sweet ole girl like me hurls it like a baseball player spits sunflower seeds? I'm easy to find. Why wouldn't "BoSox" just come over here and scold me for my potty mouth? Aw, BoSox, sorry I'm not easily shamed. But you just lean in and I promise, I'll whisper "fuck" so sweetly and softly in your ear that you'll forget all your objections to my garbage.Shep is gay?? Gee, who's next.... Ellen? Elton? Etheridge? Surprised? ...NO Care? ...NO I find it more offensive that the F-bomb needlessly be mentioned over and over and over in that post. PLEASE spare me that garbage. Thanks. Posted by: BoSox at October 24, 2005 07:33 PM
posted by Aunt B at 10/25/2005 07:39:00 AM
30 Comments:
I wish that you would whisper "fuck" in my ear.
Will you be there Thursday? If so, then I will.
A while back I read a letter to the NYT, in response to an article about how people were bowdlerizing literature questions on some state exam because the language included a curse word or was otherwise no longer PC, that somewhere along the line people got the idea that had the right to not be offended. Which is ridiculous. And to which I sat to these people: FUCK YOU.
However, I am deeply offended by your statement that Peyton Manning is a cutie. I don't deny the man's a great QB, but cutie? Nononononono. Eli's prettier, and I don't really think he's pretty. Now Tom Brady? Most attractive.
Okay, listen, I'm never going to fuck Payton Manning. He's a little too sincere for my taste. But he's not as ugly at Troy Aikman. I think he's kind of a cutie. Cuter than Kenny Chesney deserves, anyway.
As for Tom Brady, dear god. I'm not saying your husband is particularly good looking, but he's got it going on in the sexy department compared to Tom Brady, who looks like a Ken doll (Sorry, LE, that was kind of a back-handed compliment).
Hey hey hey...... let's get back to the topic at hand.... Aunt B's use of the f word. That's more funny than this discussion of cutie QBs.
I'm with Fritz on this one.
W
You already said you weren't coming Thursday and look, now my plans are made:
For Thursday: Whisper "fuck" in Fritz's ear so soft and sweet he wishes I were Anderson Cooper.
I've got some skills, but, W., I just don't think I could whisper "fuck" in your ear in such a way that would make you wish I were Anderson Cooper, but I might be misreading the situation.
Anyway, get over to the Afghan thread and answer my questions!
The Manning boys look and sound like mush-mouthed mongoloids.
For pretty boy QBs, look up David Carr of the Houston Texans. As far as ugly QBs go, the discussion begins and ends with the ugliest NFL QB ever, Jim Plunkett of the Oakland Raiders.
Aw, shoot, S. You don't have to talk about cute boys just to get me to whisper "fuck" in your ear. All you have to do is ask.
Fritz, batting for both teams now?
Aunt B, just never whisper fuck to *my* Bono, and we'll have any problems.
"The Manning boys look and sound like mush-mouthed mongoloids."
The Shill {hearts} Sarcastro.
There's something about Tom Brady that appeals to me even though he is the antithesis of all I actually do find attractive. Pretty boy jocks of medium intelligence are not really my style and yet... he's just... so... dreamy.
Pretty but useless. Kinda like that dude from the newspaper staff in college, what was his name...McMorris! (I think it was McMorris anyway.)
As for Aunt B's use of the f-word, W, how much more can we say? We like it, keep saying it, BoSox is a tool?
Sharon, no worries. My tv boyfriend is and always has been Dan Abrams. No matter how hot Bono is, Dan has my heart. If I'm going to whisper anything in any famous person's ear, I'm reserving that for Dan.
God damn! I totally forgot about McMorris. He was pretty.
As for David Carr... I saw him for the first time a year or so ago in People's Sexiest Man Alive issue. His longer hair did not work for me (is it short now? I don't pay attention) even though LE had long hair when I met him. But LE looked like a surfer, not a greasy dude from Jersey (oh, let the fights begin!)
Jim Plunkett is pretty ugly. This undoubtedly means that he'll make an appearance in one of my dreams. With The Man from GM's moves.
B, I like it when you talk dirty. Drop the C-Bomb somtime... that's a fun one to hear from chicks.
Surfer?! Don't make me scan those photos. Surfer.
He looked like every other boy who succumbed to the allure of grunge--like if Kurt Cobain and Rivers Cuomo had a baby.
LE, step in here and set some shit straight.
Not in college -- AFTER. When he was all skinny and bleached blond from working construction for a year. In college, he was greaseball grunge and at no point were we ever involved.
Ah, the hot construction worker look. Well, that explains it.
I still thought he was hot in college, though. Not as hot as his brother, but hot.
Shit, you guys have a whole new Village People thing going one here now, what with the:
LE as: Hot Construction Guy
Peyton Manning as: the Quarterback
Bono as: The Motorcycle Cop (He's got the shades!)
Dan Abrams as: The Newscaster/Pundit guy in a suit
And that McMorris guy as: The Indian.
I really dont wanna have to defend my rockstar good looks in college, but seriously, way hotter than my brother what with my long, flowing locks weighed down by a week's accumulation of grease, the ever present camel light dangling jauntily from the corner of my mouth, the jeans so crusted with filth they could stand on their own and harbored any number of colonies of funk, the gigantic x-ray specks barely held up by minescule ears, the patchy not-a-beard, the frat boy beer-fueld paunch, the wan skin and bagged up eyes from too may nights of 4am discussions on how our generation would change the world, the constant smug, smirkiness that the ladies can't help but find charming...
and what did the brother offer? a job? regular grooming? clothes that fit and were clean? a tan? pshah I spit on your eurocentric, limited view of good looks
le
I
And let us not forget the cute facial hair.
Too bad he didn't have sense enough to date me when he had the chance. I'd be a kick-ass sister-in-law.
way better than Skeletor, anyway
but he never made smart choices when it comes to women (or womyn, which I think is your preferred spelling - tee hee) but really, seeing him now, would you want to be married into that mess?
LE
Oh, don't you start with that womyn crap, too.
And, yeah, fair enough. I wouldn't actually have wanted to be married to him, considering how things have turned out.
Still, I will always cherish the way he got shit-faced at your wedding and poured out all his regrets about losing his shot with me with his wife of less than a year sitting right across the table. That was a special moment.
Not as special as when he and your other brother started disrobing in order to give me the best look possible at their tattoos, but special.
Now that I think about it, it's probably lucky I didn't get shot that evening. Did you guys have a "no guns at the ceremony" policy or what? And, if so, how did you get your dad to agree to that?
Dan Abrams?!?
The Dan Abrams??????
Are you SURE you're not a raging drunkard?
What? Is there some terrible secret about Dan Abrams I don't know? I come into work at 7:30 so that I can leave at 4:30 so that I'm home in time to watch his show, every day.
I love him.
Sorry. I'm an idiot. I thought you meant Dan Miller of the Local News.
I was thinking you had some issues you needed to work through
Yes, I realize there are actually few common letters in 'miller' and 'abrams'.
I just don't watch a lot of tv news.
I know Shill, not much more to be said about saying fuck. I was just bored with the QB discussion.
I think you guys are talking about the wrong sport. I'm no expert on cute guys, but if results are any indication baseball players are way cuter. My brother played professionally, so I've known a lot of them. Those guys always had the best groupies, even back in high school.
W
W, you're right, we ARE talking about the wrong sport(s). Just last night I was admiring the pulchritudinous Scott Podsednik of the White Sox, which I know is quite trendy right now. And Paul Konerko isn't bad either, the balding isn't even a factor. Aunt B. previously discussed the hot-men-in-pajamas appeal of baseball.
Alex Rodriguez, Mark Prior, Derrek Lee, Derek Jeter... and old favorites like Mark Grace. I refuse to allow that Johnny Damon is hot though. Ew.
I do reserve occasional love for basketball players as well. Grant Hill, people. The man is beautiful. But in general, I think the baseball players win. Maybe it's because you don't need to be a physical freak to be good?
Aw, Mark Grace.
Baseball definitely is the sexiest sport. And, I think it's safe to say that both the Shill and I believe that Baseball Movies hold many of the answers to life. Bull Durham, I'm looking at you.
So who watched the world series last night? The Astros stranded 15 base runners. With all those guys stranded you'd think they were FEMA or something.
W
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