Sunday, November 06, 2005

Why The Butcher is at the Top of My Shit List

1. The groceries are in the middle of the kitchen floor in a big pile. 2. There's no gas in the car, even though I had to drive clear out to the HoJo's by Walmart. 3. I had to drive clear out to the HoJo's by Walmart to look at the HoJo's and tell my dad what everyone knows--you don't want to stay at a HoJo's if you don't have to--because the Butcher never did go do it even though Dad asked him to two weeks ago. 4. We don't have a fucking garbage disposal. Don't put your food-crap in the sink where it starts to rot and stink up the whole house and I have to fish it out with my bare hands so that I can do the dishes. It's fucking gross and the garbage can is right there, right behind you where you can reach it from any place in the kitchen. Christ. 5. Our living room is not passable. It's such a mess with things to trip over and step on and no fucking place to sit without having to move three beer bottles and two forks out of your way that upper level military strategists come to study the configuration of the room, because, clearly it's defensive genius. And yet, that jackass still said to me "How come the god damn kitchen is so dirty?" 6. If you empty an ice cube tray, fill the god damn ice cube tray. It's clean. But, if you stick it in the sink, where you've thrown all your trash, it won't be clean any more. 7. Where's my fucking North Mississippi All-Stars CD? 8. I had to pick up his used band-aid off the bathroom floor. Is there anything more gross? 9. Fine, he and Dad are having some fight about something. Why am I in the middle of this? The next one of them to start a sentence with "Well, just tell him..." is going to get something thrown at him. Work it out between yourselves. Leave me out of it. 10. How come when I have no money I have to sit at home and watch HGTV and when you have no money, you get to go out with your friends and get drunk? I'm very jealous, for I also would like to have a life that involved regularly getting drunk with my friends, but supposedly we have no money.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Far be it from me to drop the dime on your bro, but I think his reaction to the cops in the entry below is telling you all you need to know about how he has money when he doesn't appear to have money. Or was that supposed to be a rhetorical question? I mean, I've done the doper brother thing and caught the clue wagon just before it ran over me...but maybe others have not.

11/06/2005 08:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

I do hear tell that the bar at HoJo's, (the Crow's Nest?) is full of old barflies and other colorful locals.

11/07/2005 09:52:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

W., it is just a rhetorical question. He knows the rules. If he's dealing again, he will be shot, end of discussion.

S., sadly, my parents don't drink. Nor do they approve of drinking around them. This makes holidays practically unbearable.

11/07/2005 10:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Maybe they should start.

11/07/2005 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Amen.

11/07/2005 10:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just for the record B, that anon up there ain't me.

W

11/08/2005 06:40:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home