Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Chock Full of Sex

1. I caught wind over at Twisty's of an exciting effort to do to Napoli what Dan Savage did to Santorum. As most of you know, santorum is both an icky jackass and the frothy, fecally and lubey after-effects of anal sex. Candy, over at Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels, is proposing this definition for napoli:
napoli (not to be confused with the proper noun, which indicates the Italian city)Function: verb Inflected Form(s): napolied Pronunciation: nA'poli 1. To brutalize and rape, sodomize as bad as you can possibly make it, a young, religious virgin woman who was saving herself for marriage. 2. To hella rape somebody. Etymology: From State Senator Bill Napoli's (R-SD) description of an acceptable rape that would merit an exemption from South Dakota's abortion ban.
Brilliant. 2. Also brilliant, I mean so brilliant I'm dying of jealousy that I both didn't write it myself and that I am not clever enough by half to write it myself, the Nashville Knucklehead writes the most awesome piece of protest poetry of the decade, if not of the new millennium, dealing with the proposed ban on the sale of sex toys here in Tennessee. I will tempt you with a piece, but you must go read the whole thing.
'Twas the night before voting, in the Senate and House Charlotte Burks was still stirring, double-clicking her mouse. Eric Swafford was hung up, and loaded for bear, Cleaning his gun with the greatest of care. With Senators nestled all snug in their beds, The men-folk all polished their little bald heads. And the ladyfolk lawmakers muffled their groans, While fingers were frantically honing their stones.
Knuck, my hat's off to you, sir. Bravo! 3. The Wayward Boy Scout is funny in his own way. But having Sarcastro & W.'s comments really make the whole post. 4. Ginger wants the LLA (the Librarian Liberation Army) to start smacking the shit out of people who want to inflict their prudish ways on public libraries. 5. I don't know why, but it tickles me to see the folks over at Say Uncle also discussing the proposed ban on sex toys. Perhaps it's the backhanded compliment of Egalia, maybe it's the pondering of the proper way to make dildo plural, maybe it's Uncle's unwillingness to type "butt plug," I don't know. But it's a good time.


Blogger cafiend said...

I'm driving a car with Tennessee plates, until the person from whom I got it can produce the title so I can reregister it. I'd already had several strange encounters on the road because people thought I was from Tennessee and wanted to tell me things or ask me things I was totally unqualified to respond to. And now this dildo thing. Would y'all quit embarrassing me?

3/08/2006 02:51:00 PM  

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