Wednesday, May 04, 2005

5 Reasons Why I Hate My Purse & 1 Reason I Hate My Wallet

Why I hate My Purse

  1. It looks like a grandma purse. Not everyone's grandma's purse, but it's exactly the kind of purse both of my grandmas would have carried. I already have giant grandma boobs. Why the hell did I buy a purse that only served to draw attention to the fact that I'm just a grandma waiting to happen?!
  2. The Butcher will not stop pointing out how much it looks like a grandma purse.
  3. You can't find shit in it. Need a tampon? Here's 57 cents all in pennies. Need a penny? Here's some scraggly ass tampon that looks like it was swallowed and then shit out a large snake. You can't ever find what you want when you want it.
  4. It came equipped with smaller purses, like Russian nesting dolls--a tiny purse for your cell phone and a larger, small purse for god knows what. I put my tarot cards in there and my checkbook. There's still room in it for other things. Maybe that's where the aspirin is hiding.
  5. One whole side of it is empty because I just don't have that much crap.

Why I hate my wallet:

  1. It's empty.


Blogger Twyla said...

Um. I'm confused. Why not just go get a new purse? Oh yeah, the empty wallet. I can't bear to think of you with that horrid purse. Perhaps a nice "will work for purse" sign near the interstate would help?

5/04/2005 04:12:00 PM  
Blogger the Professor said...

I hesitate to point this out given yesterday's first hard truth, but wasn't that purse a gift from your parents? Maybe that's what you can ask for this year - a new purse, or at least something to put in the wallet.

5/04/2005 05:43:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

I love the idea of a "will work for purse" sign! That's awesome.

That takes care of my need for a new purse and takes care of my stir-craziness, because I'd be having an adventure.

Or I could just tell my parents that's what I want for my birthday...

5/04/2005 09:18:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

I'd never let anyone buy me a purse, nor would I presume to buy anyone else one. They're very personal, don't you think?

My sister-in-law always uses those big carryall types that all the shit is just thrown together in. Me, being more anal, I like lots of little compartments and zippered areas for various things: One for my tape measure and pocketknife, one for glasses, another for the phone, one for makeup and such, llittle pen holders, etc.

I use that tape measure all the time.

5/05/2005 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

I agree that a purse is a personal thing, but I've done such a shitty job picking this one out that I'm tempted to walk into a store, find a sales person, show her my purse, tell her I hate it, and buy the thing she thinks is most opposite of that.

5/05/2005 08:10:00 AM  
Blogger One little sheep said...

I really cant be seen here at work laughing to myself at my desk! I wish for you a new purse from Santa.

5/10/2005 01:41:00 PM  

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