5 Reasons Why I Hate My Purse & 1 Reason I Hate My Wallet
Why I hate My Purse
- It looks like a grandma purse. Not everyone's grandma's purse, but it's exactly the kind of purse both of my grandmas would have carried. I already have giant grandma boobs. Why the hell did I buy a purse that only served to draw attention to the fact that I'm just a grandma waiting to happen?!
- The Butcher will not stop pointing out how much it looks like a grandma purse.
- You can't find shit in it. Need a tampon? Here's 57 cents all in pennies. Need a penny? Here's some scraggly ass tampon that looks like it was swallowed and then shit out a large snake. You can't ever find what you want when you want it.
- It came equipped with smaller purses, like Russian nesting dolls--a tiny purse for your cell phone and a larger, small purse for god knows what. I put my tarot cards in there and my checkbook. There's still room in it for other things. Maybe that's where the aspirin is hiding.
- One whole side of it is empty because I just don't have that much crap.
Why I hate my wallet:
- It's empty.
posted by Aunt B at 5/04/2005 05:58:00 PM
5 Comments:
Um. I'm confused. Why not just go get a new purse? Oh yeah, the empty wallet. I can't bear to think of you with that horrid purse. Perhaps a nice "will work for purse" sign near the interstate would help?
I love the idea of a "will work for purse" sign! That's awesome.
That takes care of my need for a new purse and takes care of my stir-craziness, because I'd be having an adventure.
Or I could just tell my parents that's what I want for my birthday...
I'd never let anyone buy me a purse, nor would I presume to buy anyone else one. They're very personal, don't you think?
My sister-in-law always uses those big carryall types that all the shit is just thrown together in. Me, being more anal, I like lots of little compartments and zippered areas for various things: One for my tape measure and pocketknife, one for glasses, another for the phone, one for makeup and such, llittle pen holders, etc.
I use that tape measure all the time.
I agree that a purse is a personal thing, but I've done such a shitty job picking this one out that I'm tempted to walk into a store, find a sales person, show her my purse, tell her I hate it, and buy the thing she thinks is most opposite of that.
I really cant be seen here at work laughing to myself at my desk! I wish for you a new purse from Santa.
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