Tuesday, December 13, 2005

And this surprises who?

Today must be the most boring day in the history of twenty-four hour infotainment as just about every article I've perused during my lunch hour has caused me to exclaim "Well, duh." Here are the stories that most failed to seem like news (in no particular order):
  1. Colin Farrell is on drugs. Yes, why else would he have done DareDevil?
  2. Iran's president expresses doubts about the Holocaust again. The first time he doubted the Holocaust, it was the least surprising "news" ever. I don't know what to call the fact that it's a story again that he's doubting again. The least, least surprising news? But do two leasts make it a most? Hmm.
  3. You soon will be able to pay to go down to New Orleans and look at the extent of people's suffering. I can't wait to see the t-shirts "Grandma went to tour the devastation in New Orleans and all I got was this stupid t-shirt, which, I guess is more than the folks who lost everything have."
  4. You should marry someone you like. Let's not even get into what a nice girl like me is doing poking around Townhall.com.

Okay, but let's at least consider this: apparently, there's a large enough group of people who are smart enough to work the internet, but stupid enough to not realize that, if they don't miss the person they're considering marrying when that person is not around, there's a problem, to give this Prager dude an audience.

Shoot, you'd like to believe that people are smart enough to figure this shit out on their own, but look at the recalcitrant brother. He once showed up at my door with my future crack whore sister-in-law and proclaimed, "Our friends are trying to kill us." Perhaps Dennis Prager could have explained to him that, once they're trying to kill you, they are, by definition, no longer your friends.


Blogger the Professor said...

We really do need Dr. Prager. Well, if we want to remain naive and tainted by a false romantic notion of love as flowers and kindness and all kinds of pretty things. Where are the people teaching us how to fight and remain friends? Those are the people we need.

12/13/2005 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger Exador said...

Thank You, from the bitter gallery.

If you think Prager is obvious, ask yourself, How many married men do you know who insist on having a "poker night", or a "golf day", or some other, "I've got to get away from her and have some fun", weekly event?

12/13/2005 03:55:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Before we sully the reputation of a perfectly fine event like poker night, let's just be clear that there's a difference between going out and spending one night a week with your friends and feeling like that's your one chance to get away from someone you consider no fun.

Anyway, it goes back to my belief that most people don't really give a shit about being happy. That's why Prager is so hilariously necessary. I'm sure it doesn't occur to most of us dumbasses that we ought to try to be.

12/13/2005 04:05:00 PM  
Blogger the Professor said...

Yeah, I might be a little bitter in my insistence that we not conflate marriage and love or love and peace and kindness. But, I am not so bitter as exador to conflate marriage with confinement and unhappiness.

12/13/2005 04:12:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Let us not conflate confinement with unhappiness, either. The boy I have chained to the foot of my bed seems delighted to be there.

12/13/2005 04:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

If he were delighted, you wouldn't need the chains.

12/13/2005 04:26:00 PM  
Blogger Bardiac said...

The chains may indeed be a vital contribution to his happiness!

12/13/2005 04:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Given the owner of the bed, chances are good that there was on offer of either candy or walnut pies and a rag soaked with ether involved before little Jimmy Caan woke up in Kathy Bates, er, Aunt B's cabin.

12/13/2005 04:45:00 PM  
Blogger the Professor said...

And by rag soaked with ether you mean Hostess cupcake soaked in Jack Daniels. They have the same effect, I swear.

12/13/2005 05:15:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Sarcastro, is that a hint of jealousy I hear? I will gladly tie you to my bed and break your ankles, if you ask nicely.

Professor, come now! I wasn't the one making that poor kid drink yellow egg dye. Let's just be upfront about who exactly was clearly trying to incapacitate that guy.

12/13/2005 09:31:00 PM  
Blogger Exador said...

How about spending poker night or golf day with your friends and bring you wife along? Wouldn't it be best if events were more fun with your wife along?

If not, maybe you have the wrong wife.

12/14/2005 08:03:00 AM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Boy Scout, you are so sweet. Do you think that doesn't occur to most people?

I'm not being snarky. I honestly don't know. It seems to me so obvious as to not be necessary to even say that one ought to adore one's chosen spouse and love to spend time with him or her and to feel better for having him or her around.

But I don't honestly see that such a simple thing is a consideration for most people. It's weird to me.

12/14/2005 08:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm married to my best friend in the world, but it sure is nice to get away from him sometimes and hang out with other friends. And I've been to his poker night before with him, and, I must say, it was really damn boring. Perhaps a healthy relationship involves having fun together and apart.

Miss J

12/14/2005 09:01:00 AM  
Blogger Exador said...

Sadly, I think it's more the rule than the exception.

One of my coworkers JUST got married, maybe 2 months ago. He was just back from his honeymoon and alreaday talking about going out of town to "get away from the wife".

The worst case that I know of is my sister inlaw and her husband. They barely speak, and it's been like that since they met. They both wanted kids; they got them, and apparently never really wanted a spouse.

12/14/2005 09:02:00 AM  
Blogger Exador said...

Miss J,

That's fine. My point was towards the people that think that way all the time. In other words, their spouse is a killjoy and the only way they can have fun is to get away from them.

12/14/2005 09:08:00 AM  
Blogger Kleinheider said...

once they're trying to kill you, they are, by definition, no longer your friends.

That's not necessarily true. I've had a friend try to kill me once. You just have to learn not to take that kind of thing personal. It happens :)

12/14/2005 10:14:00 AM  

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