Saturday, December 03, 2005

Because, really, once you start with the boring stuff, you have to follow through

Shoes? Check. Cute, black, plain enough to go with everything I own. Super comfortable. Nice, solid heel. Bra? Check. Okay, let's just be honest. I'm a little more brash online that I am in person* and so I wasn't actually going to make out with the Professor in the dressing room. I wasn't even planning on letting her into the dressing room, but when my real, actual tits seemed to morph into big old porn star tits, someone had to see, and, even though I looked around to see if I could happen to find W. passing by, the Professor was my only option. So, the new bra is delightful and hilarious. I'm not actually sure I have the guts to wear it, but I bought it and a shirt to wear over it, and so we'll see. I'm sad our old neighbor, the guy who gets laid a lot, has moved, because right now is the time when you want to throw the thing on, throw a shirt over it, and have some man scrutinize it to let you know--on a scale of "awesome" to "funny"--where your tits now fall. He used to do that for me pretty frequently, but now he's gone and I don't have any one else who's willing to ogle me just for the sake of ogling. Which is too bad, because I respected his opinion**. Anyway, the Professor got this totally cute pink bra and these darling black and pink Chuck T's and a shirt for one of her lovers. I'm unclear if she's going to buy presents for all of her lovers, but I fully expect they will buy presents for her. And I'm a little envious of that. One has already purchased her a small kitchen appliance. And the whole shopping thing didn't even really suck. I had a nice time. Might I be getting in touch with my girly side? I don't know. *Unless I'm drunk, but I think that goes without saying. **Though, I must say that, in retrospect, perhaps how he got laid so frequently by so many women, despite being kind of "used-car-salesman" looking, is that he had a way of looking at you that made you feel like he was about to not be able to help himself. So, maybe I didn't always look so smoking hot, but god damn, you'd knock at his door, he'd answer, you'd say "How do I look?" and he'd kind of rock back on his heels and nod and you'd go off feeling like you were about to set the world on fire. What a great guy.


Blogger the Professor said...

First, the gift is for the one who got me a small kitchen appliance. So I feel better about taking the gift if I can also give one, especially because he bought be some jewerly when we were doing his shopping together a couple of weeks ago.

Second, what do you mean you might not have the guts to wear the new bra? I am jealous as hell, woman!! You think my tits look great in shirts, but you are the clear winner in just the bra. I could never get that kind of cleavage. You need to bust out (ha ha) the iron, fix up that new shirt, and get those things ready for some dancing tonight!!

I too had fun. Let's start stealing cash from the Butcher - train the orange cat to distract him while we go for the wallet - and we can do this regularly.

12/03/2005 03:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your fun bra-shopping trip with the Professor brings back an early, more traumatic bra-shopping memory for me. You know, the first one, with the mom in the dressing room with you, while you look awkwardly at your newly-harnessed self in the long mirror and wish the floor would swallow you up when she sniffles and says loud enough for the entire dressing room to hear: "My baby's growing up."

You must wear the new bra when I see you at Christmas, and you certainly have to wear it elsewhere. Maybe your tits will finally get the undivided attention from the world that they have deserved for so long.

Miss J

12/03/2005 03:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh sure, you'll show me your tits but never answer email.....

On second thought, I may be okay with that.


12/03/2005 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger harvestbird said...

As with any extreme underwear, you need to allow a sensitisation period with the new bra. The first step is to wear it under several layers of loose fitting clothing. (Knowing you are harnessed for full va-va-voom under those loose jumpers will put a spring in your step.) Then, gradually peel back the layers and replace them with more fitting tops until you are appropriately be-shirted, be-cleavaged, and ready to set the neighbourhood alight.

I think wearing a fabulous bra and having no-one quite able to see its dynamic consequences is the shy woman's equivalent of going commando.

12/03/2005 08:51:00 PM  
Blogger Aunt B said...

Oh, W., you make me feel bad. We could combine the best of both worlds. If you like, I will email you about my new bra.

12/04/2005 06:12:00 PM  
Blogger the Professor said...

Finally, blogger will let me post a comment on this post! I must do it, even though my thoughts are old.

First, it's a little sad and a little weird but I do not remember my first bra. Either I've repressed the memory, or my mother is not sufficiently sentimental. I've been trying to remember for days, since blogger forced me to, to no avail.

Second, thanks to harvestbird for outlining those baby steps. B's been trying to tell me that she needs to take them, but I've been pishing for giant leaps because I had no idea what else to do - and if y'all had seen her tits in that bra, you too would be encouraging her to buy shirts that really show off the amazing cleavage she's got going on.

12/05/2005 01:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just can't think of an appropriate response to that suggestion B. I'll leave it to your discretion.


12/05/2005 10:18:00 AM  
Blogger harvestbird said...

Yes, recommending the baby steps is only possible when you haven't seen what is, by eyewitness accounts, a pleasingly impressive covered carriage.

This, I think, is the role of the international reader in this weblog.

12/05/2005 03:56:00 PM  
Anonymous TN Girl said...

OK, what kind of bra is this? After reading its virtues, I feel the need to run out and buy one.

12/17/2005 01:31:00 PM  

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